IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people think that it is better for a country's economy for people to spend money while others believe that it would be better for people to save money. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #country #economy #money
The most important consideration in
country
`s is economy. For the recession to develop there must be a turnover of money.Some people think that spending money will help a
country
`s economy to be leading and prosperous in the long rush and I agree.
For instance
, some information about Kazakhstan recession. Our
country
 makes a lot`s of export product which help to our homey stay afloat.
However at
Accept comma addition
However, at
 the same time we purchase products from other countries because it is cheaper.
This
 is due to the price of our products. We will have more benefits if sell production to another
country
 and buy material for the citizen.
Nevertheless
,
this
 doesn't always work perfectly.
On the other hand
, I
also
 want to say
that is
 difficult save economic position always in well conditionals. Kazakhstan is excellent rustic for businesses because we have low fees. One major drawback is people leave Kazakhstan for something new and different. They try to find something better for themselves.
Moreover I
Accept comma addition
Moreover, I
 somewhat agree with them.
For example
, people choosing neighbouring Kyrgyzstan to relax in the summer, send their children to study in other countries simply because education in other countries is sometimes or more often at the same price as in Kazakhstan
,
Accept space
,
but the quality is much lower. In my opinion I can say about
this
 just because. I love my
country
 and I want to be useful here, but I cannot I have to choose another variant which able to give me more and better. So I'm in favour of spending capital, even in a slightly different way, to invest it in something profitable and if you invest money
also
 in your
country
 and thereby help it, what could be better?
Submitted by donskaya.sofiya on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: