Question: Some people think it is better to build more public parks and sports facilities in new towns rather than shopping malls. To what extent do you agree or disagree??

#people #parks #sports #facilities #towns #malls

According to manifold people constructing more recreational grounds are beneficial rather than erecting shopping malls in towns. I believe with

this

notion as the lush green gardens aid to diminish the environmental problems, and the sports centres allow everyone to learn innumerable games, whereas, the shopping centre cannot fulfil these conditions.

First

and Foremost, the public park is indispensable and should build in every town to purify the air quality. To be more precise, the injurious exhausted gases come out from the factories, and the vehicles are spoiling the atmosphere and spreading fatal diseases that are making human health vulnerable.

Therefore

, the public park is imperative to refine the air quality, and it is the only place left where people can go out for a morning walk and exercise. The cool breeze, the fragrance of flowers, and the soothing sounds of the birds take away all the tensions, anxiety and enhance the blood circulation in one's body. These natural healings are not available in the shopping complexes.

Hence

, considering the pollution obstacles, the building of the public garden is highly required.

Furthermore

, the sports complex plays an important role, and it should be available everywhere to learn new multifarious games and upgrade their existing sports skills. Simply stating, it gives the privilege to play uncountable games

such

as badminton, cricket, tennis, basketball, and many more under one roof.

Besides

, in

this

way, people socialize with each other and make new friends. Playing games makes them physically and mentally fit as their bodies burn unnecessary fats, and their muscles become strong. In conclusion, I cannot but agree that building more playgrounds and parks are useful,

instead

of shopping malls because of them the air pollution will reduce, and the sports hall allows playing myriad games.

Submitted by Riba on Sat May 16 2020

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

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‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

294 words

8.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Question: Some people think it is better to build more public parks and sports facilities in new towns rather than shopping malls. To what extent do you agree or disagree??

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Some people think that it is the responsibility of governments to take care of the environment, while others believe that it is the responsibility of the citizens. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. To what extent do you gree or disagree with this statement?

Some people think that professional athletes make good role models for young people, while others believe they don`t. Discuss both these points of views and give your own opinion.