The chart below shows the results of a survey of people who visited four types of tourist attraction in Britain in 1999. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

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The pie chart illustrates the proportion of

tourists

Use synonyms

who visited four different destinations in the United Kingdom, in the year 1999. The tabular chart gives

Linking Words

further

Add an article

a further

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breakdown of the tourist's preference for the common spots within the

theme

Use synonyms

park. The data has been calibrated in percentages.

Overall

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theme

Use synonyms

parks

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and museums/ galleries remained the most frequently visited sites by

the

Correct article usage

apply

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tourists

Use synonyms

Whereas

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, in

theme

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park

Add a comma

,park

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the most conspicuous and favoured site for touring remained the Blackpool pleasure beach. We can make out that almost

two-

Correct your spelling

two-thirds

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third

Linking Words

of the visitors resorted to

Change the verb form

going

show examples

theme

Use synonyms

parks

Use synonyms

(38%) and

museum

Fix the agreement mistake

museums

show examples

and galleries (37%) only. Amongst the rest of the

tourists

Use synonyms

, the historic houses and monuments were more famous to pay a visit to I.e. 16%.

In contrast

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, only 9%

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tourists

Change preposition

of tourists

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were interested in seeing the wildlife,

parks

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and zoos. The Blackpool pleasure beach was the most commonly visited place in

theme

Use synonyms

parks

Use synonyms

and as many as half of the visitors coming to the

theme

Use synonyms

park, visited it. Around one-

third

Linking Words

of the

tourists

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visited the Alton towers and

pleasure

Replace the word

pleasant

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land, Southport.

Lastly

Linking Words

, around 10% of visitors liked to go to the Legoland and Chessington adventure lands each.

Submitted by aadidoc508 on Sun May 17 2020

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "third".

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.

Vocabulary: Replace the words tourists, theme, parks with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

193 words

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The chart below shows the results of a survey of people who visited four types of tourist attraction in Britain in 1999. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

Some people feel tha manufacturers and supermarkets have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of goods. Others argue that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging.Discuss bothe views and give your opinions.

4.Many young people leave school with a negative attitude toward learning. What are the possible reasons for this? Suggest some solutions to address this problem.

There have been many inventions in human history, such as wheels. Some people think the most important thing is the internet. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

what are advantages and disadvantages of using smart devices

It is now possible for scientists and tourists to travel to remote areas with natural environments, such as the South Pole. Is this a positive or negative development?