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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the child of having a large number of toys?

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With increased earning of people,
Use synonyms
number
Suggestion
the number
a number
 of toys for children are being purchased by parents is
also
Linking Words
 accelerating.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss the pros and cons that owning
large
Suggestion
a large number
number
Use synonyms
 of toys has on children. One advantage children have from toys is that they will most likely not be addicted to technological gadgets. With
large
Suggestion
a large number
number
Use synonyms
 of toys around them, children will constantly be engaged in playing. While it is often seen that parents, when busy give their child an iPad and continue working,
this
Linking Words
 will not be the case when the child has many toys to play with.
Additionally
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,
this
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 will boost children’s creativity as they will have to create their own games for the toys they have been provided with.
On the other hand
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, being tied to numerous toys can be harmful to children due to the lack of physical activity. While playing with toys there is very little physical movement as compared to playing outside. Most children who own a lot of toys,
for instance
Linking Words
, do not prefer to go outside and play causing harm to their mental and physical growth.
In addition
Linking Words
 to that, the quality of sharing is learnt by children only while playing with others, which will not happen if they are isolated due to their toys. In conclusion, buying
large
Suggestion
a large number
number
Use synonyms
 of toys though
only seems
Suggestion
only seem
 to be
benefit
Suggestion
benefiting
 the children, it
also
Linking Words
 has some disadvantages.
Although
Linking Words
 children are prevented from being addicted to technology and allowed to flourish their creativity, they are
also
Linking Words
 being deprived of physical exertion, which is required for their sustained growth, as well as development of
crucial qualities
Suggestion
the crucial qualities
 like sharing.
Hence
Linking Words
, buying the adequate
number
Use synonyms
 of toys is essential for the right growth of children.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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