Many people today are choosing to travel to other countries. Why is this happening? Is this a positive or negative development?

Nowadays, most
people
are motivated to explore other places all around the world. In my opinion, through having a trip to other countries,
people
can be familiar with
the
Correct article usage
apply
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other cultural diversity and
obtaining
Wrong verb form
obtain
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more information about various lifestyles, which can be seen as a beneficial point for
people
’s
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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.
Firstly
, some
people
travel to new places to discover more details about the civilization that residents of new destinations have in their lives.
This
can be, especially for those who are interested in studying history.
In other words
, many individuals want to learn more about conventions that become ubiquitous in new countries. Another reason for the popularity of travelling to other nations is that
besides
relaxing during their journey,
people
also
want to acquire more knowledge about how they live in other countries. To illustrate
this
, based on recent research,
people
who travel to new places have a happier life and can struggle better with their issues based on
their
Change the word
the
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experience that gained during their trip.
Finally
, the trend of exploring other soils is undoubtedly beneficial and can help
people
find their place in the world. Almost everyone has an optimistic approach
in
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to
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knowing the real position of their own country, among others.
For example
, when time-honoured culture merges with novel
experience
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experiences
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,
people
realized
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realise
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in
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that
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their travel, can improve their level of living
lead
Wrong verb form
leading
show examples
to modern civilization. In conclusion, it can be advantageous for
people
to learn more about other nations. It would be useful for those interested in travelling all around the world to find new things about the culture, tradition, and lifestyle of inhabitants in new destinations.
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coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are evident but need further development to clearly outline the main points of the essay.
task achievement
The response addresses the task but could be more comprehensive in explaining the reasons for the trend and its consequences. Provide more specific examples and expand on the reasons.

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Advancements in transportation
  • Cultural curiosity
  • Economic reasons
  • Globalization
  • Educational opportunities
  • Digital nomadism
  • Healthcare tourism
  • Tourism industry growth
  • Personal development
  • Interconnectedness
  • Higher living standards
  • Remote work
  • Broaden their horizons
  • Affordable travel
  • Medical treatments
  • Global perspective
  • Air travel options
  • Cuisines
  • Lifestyles
  • Job opportunities
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