Many people today are choosing to travel to other countries. Why is this happening? Is this a positive or negative development?

#people #travel #countries #development

Nowadays, most

people

are motivated to explore other places all around the world. In my opinion, through having a trip to other countries,

people

can be familiar with

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

other cultural diversity and

obtaining

Wrong verb form

obtain

show examples

more information about various lifestyles, which can be seen as a beneficial point for

people

’s

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

Firstly

, some

people

travel to new places to discover more details about the civilization that residents of new destinations have in their lives.

This

can be, especially for those who are interested in studying history.

In other words

, many individuals want to learn more about conventions that become ubiquitous in new countries. Another reason for the popularity of travelling to other nations is that

besides

relaxing during their journey,

people

also

want to acquire more knowledge about how they live in other countries. To illustrate

this

, based on recent research,

people

who travel to new places have a happier life and can struggle better with their issues based on

their

Change the word

the

show examples

experience that gained during their trip.

Finally

, the trend of exploring other soils is undoubtedly beneficial and can help

people

find their place in the world. Almost everyone has an optimistic approach

Change preposition

show examples

knowing the real position of their own country, among others.

For example

, when time-honoured culture merges with novel

experience

Fix the agreement mistake

experiences

show examples

people

realized

Wrong verb form

realise

show examples

Change preposition

that

show examples

their travel, can improve their level of living

lead

Wrong verb form

leading

show examples

to modern civilization. In conclusion, it can be advantageous for

people

to learn more about other nations. It would be useful for those interested in travelling all around the world to find new things about the culture, tradition, and lifestyle of inhabitants in new destinations.

Submitted by pixelsabb on Sun May 17 2020

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coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are evident but need further development to clearly outline the main points of the essay.

task achievement

The response addresses the task but could be more comprehensive in explaining the reasons for the trend and its consequences. Provide more specific examples and expand on the reasons.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

269 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Advancements in transportation
Cultural curiosity
Economic reasons
Globalization
Educational opportunities
Digital nomadism
Healthcare tourism
Tourism industry growth
Personal development
Interconnectedness
Higher living standards
Remote work
Broaden their horizons
Affordable travel
Medical treatments
Global perspective
Air travel options
Cuisines
Lifestyles
Job opportunities

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Many people today are choosing to travel to other countries. Why is this happening? Is this a positive or negative development?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

An increasing number of people are now using dating sites to meet their sencond halves . Do you think that this tendency help people to socialize or does more harm tthan good ? Give your opinon

Some people believe that everyone has a right to have access to university education and that governments should make it free for all students no matter what financial background they have. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many people argue that in order to improve educational quality high school students should be encouraged to question and offer criticism on their teachers. Others think this will you lead to a loss of respect and discipline in the classroom discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.