Some people think that government is wasting money on the arts, and that this money can be spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

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At present, many countries are tending to create the arts in order to inspire the population to pride and be royal for their home

country

, while some do not agree with the government because they think it wastes the

budget

. I strongly believe that

art creative

Accept comma addition

art, creative

works can be an inspiration for many people.

Firstly

, many

art

works can help people

to have

Suggestion

have

a creative mind as these

work

Suggestion

works

can be seen and understand easily.

For instance

, a statue of the ancestors who concurred of the war and ruled the

country

until now,

therefore

when an individual is looking at

this

sculpture

art

photographs or other visual representations in a printed publication

artwork

work

, they may consider about how their nation was built from the past and the

appreciatation

understanding of the nature or meaning or quality or magnitude of something

appreciation

of loving and royalty to home

country

would happen.

As a result

, these people will effort to develop their region as much as they can.

Secondly

, a creative

art

might lead people having a healthy mental status.

For example

, when some young people have depression from their obstacles

such

as a low grade level or argue with someone, they usually come to the amusement parks as

this

place provides some beautiful

art

works and green garden and when they walk around or sit without do nothing for

awhile

Suggestion

a while

, they just feel relieved and happy.

On the other hand

, some

art

works are too expensive and cursed of over the

budget's

Suggestion

budget

expenditures, making governments waste a huge

budget

unnecessary.

Such

as, the most famous artist's paintings in Europe,

this

is not only high cost to

buy but

Accept comma addition

buy, but

also

secure-

maintenance's

Suggestion

maintenance

fee is expensive too.

Moreover

, governments should weigh between paying

high cost

Suggestion

the high cost

of some

art

portrays and low price

art

photographs or other visual representations in a printed publication

artwork

work

in order to save the

budget

and get people to the purpose. To conclude,

art

works

Suggestion

are

one of civilization that expresses the

unique

Suggestion

uniqueness

of an individual nation, so the leader of a particular

country

should

realize of their

Suggestion

realize their

advantages. In my view, arts

work

still important to

human

Suggestion

humanity

as it helps creative and enjoyable mind.

Submitted by su_nu33 on Mon May 18 2020

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

334 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

enriching society
promoting cultural understanding
development of talent
creative industries
economic benefits
generate revenue
cultural heritage
identity
prioritize spending
needs of the majority

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