Many animals are being hunted to the brink of extinction in order to fulfil the demand and greed of mankind for decorative purposes as well as for other reasons, such as traditional medicine. How can this issue be tackled?

#animals #brink #extinction #fulfil #demand #mankind #purposes #medicine

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Nowadays, along with the population growth, the consequence of threatening a

nimals’ lives

Suggestion

the animals’ lives

to satisfy human’s greed relating t

osuch

Suggestion

to such

as medicine, clothes or decoration is worth c

onsideringincreasingly

Suggestion

arising.

However

Linking Words

, there are various solutions which should be implemented to mitigate the problems.

First

Linking Words

and foremost, raising people’s awareness about the serious consequences plays an integral role in protecting a c

onsiderablenumerous

Suggestion

umberamount

Suggestion

number amount

of creatures. Obviously/ It is apparent/ ClearlyApparently, the priority should be given to imparting essential knowledge to students t

hroughduring

Suggestion

through during

courses. Animals and especially endangered creatures’ lives mustn’t be menaced to f

ulfill

put in effect

fulfil

our entertaining pleasures including

such

Linking Words

as using their fur for clothes, decorations or furniture. It would be for

such

Linking Words

substantial information that could anticipate the disadvantageous results and augmenting people’s consciousness of the situation.

However

Linking Words

, the government can apply various methods to transmit significant advices or warnings to the residents.

Secondly

Linking Words

, numerous harsh penalties could be applied used as a deterrent to a

ddressanticipate

Suggestion

the potential issues.

For instance

Linking Words

, when one person is subject to severe punishments, the others might learn f

romcomprehend

Suggestion

the consequences if they c

ommitrepeat

Suggestion

commit repeat

the same actions. As the natural world is an extremely indispensable part of our living that enhance mankind’s life quality, making threats against their existence not only destroying the wildlife but seriously affecting human’s lifetime. Punishments

such

Linking Words

as imprisonment or fining the criminal a big amount of money should be carried out to effectively minimize and prevent repetition. In conclusion, the act of menacing natural creatures in order to gratify mankind’s selfishness should be condemned and strictly punished.

Hence

Linking Words

, both the government and the citizen should take responsibility in conserving the animals’ lives and take steps to tackle the issues.

Submitted by hanguyen270805 on Mon May 18 2020

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

276 words

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Many animals are being hunted to the brink of extinction in order to fulfil the demand and greed of mankind for decorative purposes as well as for other reasons, such as traditional medicine. How can this issue be tackled?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

It is a natural process for animals species to become extinct.

Some people think that men and women have different qualities. Therefore, some certain jobs are suitable for men and some jobs are suitable for women. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

Some schools have restricted the use of mobile phones. Is this a positive development or a negative one? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples fromyour own knowledge or experience.