Many animals are being hunted to the brink of extinction in order to fulfil the demand and greed of mankind for decorative purposes as well as for other reasons, such as traditional medicine. How can this issue be tackled?

Nowadays, along with the population growth, the consequence of threatening a
nimals’ lives
Suggestion
the animals’ lives
to satisfy human’s greed relating t
osuch
Suggestion
to such
as medicine, clothes or decoration is worth c
onsideringincreasingly
arising.
However
, there are various solutions which should be implemented to mitigate the problems.
First
and foremost, raising people’s awareness about the serious consequences plays an integral role in protecting a c
onsiderablenumerous
n
umberamount
Suggestion
number amount
of creatures. Obviously/ It is apparent/ ClearlyApparently, the priority should be given to imparting essential knowledge to students t
hroughduring
Suggestion
through during
courses. Animals and especially endangered creatures’ lives mustn’t be menaced to f
ulfill
put in effect
fulfil
our entertaining pleasures including
such
as using their fur for clothes, decorations or furniture. It would be for
such
substantial information that could anticipate the disadvantageous results and augmenting people’s consciousness of the situation.
However
, the government can apply various methods to transmit significant advices or warnings to the residents.
Secondly
, numerous harsh penalties could be applied used as a deterrent to a
ddressanticipate
the potential issues.
For instance
, when one person is subject to severe punishments, the others might learn f
romcomprehend
the consequences if they c
ommitrepeat
Suggestion
commit repeat
the same actions. As the natural world is an extremely indispensable part of our living that enhance mankind’s life quality, making threats against their existence not only destroying the wildlife but seriously affecting human’s lifetime. Punishments
such
as imprisonment or fining the criminal a big amount of money should be carried out to effectively minimize and prevent repetition. In conclusion, the act of menacing natural creatures in order to gratify mankind’s selfishness should be condemned and strictly punished.
Hence
, both the government and the citizen should take responsibility in conserving the animals’ lives and take steps to tackle the issues.
Submitted by hanguyen270805 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: