IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Many children are encouraged by their parents to get a part time job in their free time. What are the advantages and disadvantages to children of doing so?

#children #parents #part #time #job
Having a Few hours
job
 in a week at the early age of childhood stage can teach a valuable lesson in a life to become better individuals in a modern society. Nowadays, it is a true fact that most of the parents are motivating their kids to do a part
time
job
 during their leisure
time
 which will boost the career growth of their kids.
However
,
this
 has some positive and negative effects on children's lives. In
this
 essay I will shed some light on the pros and cons of working at a very early age.
To begin
 with
this
, having the Few hour jobs at an early age leads to the positive development of an individual. When children work hard to manage a Part
time
job
 and their school studies, they became more confident, independent and hard working by working under pressure which helps them a lot to build up a career. They
also
 understand the importance of money and how to become financially strong by spending funds properly, which is very fruitful for their future. To illustrate more, a recent by Toronto University showed that 80% Canadians are more confident and independent in a professional life due to having a Part
time
 work during their childhood stage.
On the other hand
, despite all the merits of a part
time
job
 has some demerits a well. Children will have more burden to manage study tasks while working. It can lead to reduce their performance in the grade of their academics due to shortages of
time
.
Moreover
, they will have less Leisure
time
 to spend with their family and to perform sports activities which is significantly important to their mental and physical growth. For an example, a recent study by Queen's university states that in Canada many teenagers are week in academic in Canada due the burden of
job
 while attending school. In a nutshell, a part
time
 jobs has many advantages as compared to its disadvantages. It helps children to understand the Importance of money matters in life. I highly recommend that more parents should influence their children to do a
Job
.
Submitted by ranbirsandhu6805 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • responsibility
  • punctuality
  • work ethic
  • financial literacy
  • budgeting
  • time management
  • work experience
  • career prospects
  • independence
  • self-esteem
  • communication
  • interpersonal skills
  • academic responsibilities
  • school performance
  • hobbies
  • relaxation
  • well-being
  • stress
  • fatigue
  • premature adulthood
  • childhood experiences
What to do next:
Look at other essays: