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Writing Samples
Band 4

In some countries, the average weight of people is increasing and their level of Health and Fitness is decreasing. what do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures should be taken to solve them?

#countries #weight #people #level #health #fitness #measures
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Nowadays, Increase in
weight
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 of people is a severe issue in many nations. Drastic change in lifestyle and
food
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 habits are the major causes. In my following essay, I will discuss points regarding the causes of the over
weight
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 along with effective solutions. Since
last
Linking Words
 decade, There are several changes in
food
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 patterns of the people and
this
Linking Words
changes
Suggestion
change
 are
cause
Suggestion
causes
the cause
 of
health
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 deterioration . Nowadays
womens
an adult female person (as opposed to a man)
women
 are excelling in every field and cook traditional
food
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 is a thing of
past
Suggestion
the past
. In a sharp contrast, Fast
food
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 is very easy to cook and available at every nook and cranny as fast
food
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 business is on boom. Over
consumption
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 of fast
food
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 along with lack of physical
exercise
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 is the major cause of
over
usually describes a large person who is fat but has a large frame to carry it
overweight
weight
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. It leads to several
cronic
being long-lasting and recurrent or characterized by long suffering
chronic
health
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 diseases like obesity, diabetes,
hiper
more active than normal
hyper
 blood tension and heart issues. As per the recent survey in USA about 60% of
poeple
(plural) any group of human beings (men or women or children) collectively
people
 are
overwight
usually describes a large person who is fat but has a large frame to carry it
overweight
 and from them 70% are the victims of
consumption
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 of fast
food
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. Drastic augmentation in
use
Suggestion
the use
 of electronic gadgets
have converted
Suggestion
has converted
 many people in couch
potatos
an edible tuber native to South America
potatoes
potato
.
Although
Linking Words
 technology advancement has changed our life in positive ways, it
ruin
Suggestion
ruins
Use synonyms
health
Suggestion
the health
 of people too. Nowadays, each generation is busy with their electronic gadgets.
In other words
Linking Words
, children prefer to play video games on mobile or internet except physical outdoor games while
young generation
Suggestion
the young generation
prefer
Suggestion
prefers
 to watch television and for many
professionals
Suggestion
professional
computer
Suggestion
computers
 became the important part of their life. These gadgets made them lazy and send invitation to numerous
health
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 issues like obesity and eye weakness. The effective solution to
this
Linking Words
 problem is
avoid
Suggestion
avoided
consumption
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 of fast
food
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. Prefer traditional
food
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 with
healthy diet
Suggestion
a healthy diet
 as "Three
colored
having color or a certain color; sometimes used in combination
coloured
 meal is a good choice".
In addition
Linking Words
, Do regular
exercise
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. It not only improve the physical
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health but
Accept comma addition
health, but
also
Linking Words
 mental
health
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also
Linking Words
. To recapitulate,
over eating
eating to excess (personified as one of the deadly sins)
overeating
 of fast
food
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, lack of
exercise
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, busy lifestyle and technological advancement are the causes of
over
usually describes a large person who is fat but has a large frame to carry it
overweight
weight
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 and
consumption
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 of nutritious
food
Use synonyms
 with physical
exercise
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 is the key to fight against
this
Linking Words
 cause.
Submitted by Nikita & Kash  on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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