Why do we need to prevent the extinction of some animals like dinosaurs and dodos if it is caused by natural processes? What is your opinion about this?

With the help of palaeontologists, all around the globe, these past few centuries, we have made incredible discoveries about creatures that existed before us. But a trend of natural mass extinctions has been recorded. Nowadays we have the technology in order to avert these, but what will
this
offer to our planet? In my opinion, there are multiple drawbacks if we do not try and prevent these situations and in
this
essay
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essay,
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I will explain why.
Firstly
, our planet consists of hundreds of
thousand
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thousands
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different
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of different
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species, which all play a vital role in sustaining our ecosystems
alive
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apply
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. By preventing their extinction, we prolong our biosphere’s lifespan and make it more stable. To illustrate, a study carried out by the Global Animal Care Service, showed that with averting one extinction, we give our ecosystem 2 more years of life.
Finally
, we make sure that our globe’s diversity does not get debased.
Also
, the value of our biosphere’s diversity is essential for our
well being
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well-being
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. To explain, by sustaining all the different species, we give ourselves a wider range of animals to consume, which in the long run, equals
to
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a larger variety of nutrients in our diet.
For example
, Joe Bauer, a famous nutritionist, illustrated in a Ted-x show, in 2009, that people living in ecosystems with a larger variety of animals have a 20% richer diet than others.
Lastly
,
this
variety in species
,
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is a magnificent phenomenon on planet
earth
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Earth
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, that possibly only
exist
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exists
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here, so we must protect it giving our descendants the opportunity to experience
this
in the future. In conclusion, we have to protect all living creatures
on
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in
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our world. It’s my firm belief that governments should support organizations that
everyday
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every day
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are trying to prevent these disastrous developments.
Submitted by yiannisperros99 on

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task response
The essay adequately addresses the task and presents clear and comprehensive ideas. However, the introduction and conclusion could be more impactful.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure is well-maintained with a clear progression of ideas. However, the introduction and conclusion could be improved to better frame the essay.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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