Why do we need to prevent the extinction of some animals like dinosaurs and dodos if it is caused by natural processes? What is your opinion about this?

#extinction #animals #dinosaurs #dodos #processes

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With the help of palaeontologists, all around the globe, these past few centuries, we have made incredible discoveries about creatures that existed before us. But a trend of natural mass extinctions has been recorded. Nowadays we have the technology in order to avert these, but what will

this

offer to our planet? In my opinion, there are multiple drawbacks if we do not try and prevent these situations and in

this

essay

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essay,

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I will explain why.

Firstly

, our planet consists of hundreds of

thousand

Fix the agreement mistake

thousands

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different

Change preposition

of different

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species, which all play a vital role in sustaining our ecosystems

alive

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

. By preventing their extinction, we prolong our biosphere’s lifespan and make it more stable. To illustrate, a study carried out by the Global Animal Care Service, showed that with averting one extinction, we give our ecosystem 2 more years of life.

Finally

, we make sure that our globe’s diversity does not get debased.

Also

, the value of our biosphere’s diversity is essential for our

well being

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well-being

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. To explain, by sustaining all the different species, we give ourselves a wider range of animals to consume, which in the long run, equals

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apply

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a larger variety of nutrients in our diet.

For example

, Joe Bauer, a famous nutritionist, illustrated in a Ted-x show, in 2009, that people living in ecosystems with a larger variety of animals have a 20% richer diet than others.

Lastly

this

variety in species

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apply

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is a magnificent phenomenon on planet

earth

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Earth

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, that possibly only

exist

Correct subject-verb agreement

exists

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here, so we must protect it giving our descendants the opportunity to experience

this

in the future. In conclusion, we have to protect all living creatures

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show examples

our world. It’s my firm belief that governments should support organizations that

everyday

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every day

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are trying to prevent these disastrous developments.

Submitted by yiannisperros99 on Tue May 19 2020

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task response

The essay adequately addresses the task and presents clear and comprehensive ideas. However, the introduction and conclusion could be more impactful.

coherence cohesion

The logical structure is well-maintained with a clear progression of ideas. However, the introduction and conclusion could be improved to better frame the essay.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

290 words

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Why do we need to prevent the extinction of some animals like dinosaurs and dodos if it is caused by natural processes? What is your opinion about this?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important to a child’s development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

In many large cities, people have to spend hours driving in heavy traffic every day. What are the effects of this on society and the individual? What can be done about it? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

The world has many towns and cities constructed in previous centuries that were more suitable and livable for people in those times than they are now. What problems will this cause? What can be done to solve these problems?

Some people believe that children should study all subjects at school, while others think they should only study subjects they are good at or find interesting. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that woman should take part in the military or the police force, but other oppose to this idea. Discuss both views give your own opinion and examples.