Why do we need to prevent the extinction of some animals like dinosaurs and dodos if it is caused by natural processes? What is your opinion about this?

#extinction #animals #dinosaurs #dodos #processes

With the help of palaeontologists, all around the globe, these past few centuries, we have made incredible discoveries about creatures that existed before us. But a trend of natural mass extinctions has been recorded. Nowadays we have the technology in order to avert these, but what will

this

offer to our planet? In my opinion, there are multiple drawbacks if we do not try and prevent these situations and in

this

essay

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essay,

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I will explain why.

Firstly

, our planet consists of hundreds of

thousand

Fix the agreement mistake

thousands

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different

Change preposition

of different

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species, which all play a vital role in sustaining our ecosystems

alive

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

. By preventing their extinction, we prolong our biosphere’s lifespan and make it more stable. To illustrate, a study carried out by the Global Animal Care Service, showed that with averting one extinction, we give our ecosystem 2 more years of life.

Finally

, we make sure that our globe’s diversity does not get debased.

Also

, the value of our biosphere’s diversity is essential for our

well being

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well-being

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. To explain, by sustaining all the different species, we give ourselves a wider range of animals to consume, which in the long run, equals

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apply

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a larger variety of nutrients in our diet.

For example

, Joe Bauer, a famous nutritionist, illustrated in a Ted-x show, in 2009, that people living in ecosystems with a larger variety of animals have a 20% richer diet than others.

Lastly

this

variety in species

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apply

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is a magnificent phenomenon on planet

earth

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Earth

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, that possibly only

exist

Correct subject-verb agreement

exists

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here, so we must protect it giving our descendants the opportunity to experience

this

in the future. In conclusion, we have to protect all living creatures

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our world. It’s my firm belief that governments should support organizations that

everyday

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every day

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are trying to prevent these disastrous developments.

Submitted by yiannisperros99 on Tue May 19 2020

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task response

The essay adequately addresses the task and presents clear and comprehensive ideas. However, the introduction and conclusion could be more impactful.

coherence cohesion

The logical structure is well-maintained with a clear progression of ideas. However, the introduction and conclusion could be improved to better frame the essay.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

290 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Why do we need to prevent the extinction of some animals like dinosaurs and dodos if it is caused by natural processes? What is your opinion about this?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agreee or disagree?

In many countries import food from other contry of the world.what are the advantages and disadvantages of this kasur.

There are many types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

When we meet someone for the first time, we generally decide very quickly what kind of person we think they are and if we like them or not. Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Some people think the government should pay for health care and education, but there is no agreement about whether it is the government’s responsibility. What is your opinion?