Nowadays a large amount of advertising aimed at children should be banned because of the negative effects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In recent times

Accept space

putting a ban on advertising aimed at children has become a debatable topic.While some people believe that commercials aimed at kids should be prohibited because of its negative effects

Accept space

others are of the opinion that it should not be

faced

produced by or subjected to forcing

forced

out

Accept space

This

essay will discuss the positive contributions of

this

medium of publicising despite its shortcomings. There are several reasons why advertising aimed at children should not be banned.

Firstly

Accept space

commercials serve as a way of creating awareness to the general public about products

Accept space

eventse

Suggestion

events e

.t.c.

This

in turn increases the sales and turnover of the company

involved

Accept comma addition

involved, thus

thus

contributing to the economy as a whole.

In addition

Accept space

more jobs are

also

created for people leading to reduced unemployment rate in the society.In

this

view

Accept space

advertising has done more good than harm in the society.

Furthermore

, despite the effective outcome of commercials targeted at children

Accept space

there are

also

some negative effects associated with it which should not be overlooked.

Firstly

Accept space

toddlers

tend

Suggestion

tends

to develop some habits that might cause a great harm to their health.

For instance

Accept space

food awareness created on media could make the kids develop bad eating habits

which

Suggestion

which, however cause

which however cause

however

causes obesity and other health conditions.Statistics

shows

Suggestion

show

that a large number of food-related health cases were traced to the publicity given to junks and drinks.

This

makes the aimed audience get so addicted to them without caution.

Although

Accept space

some parents tried their best in putting their wards in check.

However

Accept space

parents still don't have control over what these young stars eat in school.

This

essay discussed why the advertisement aimed at youth should not be banned as well as the negative effects it causes.In my opinion

Accept space

adolescent aimed commercials should not be eradicated

Accept space

even though the negative effects is not to be overlooked.

Submitted by folakeikee on Tue May 19 2020

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

276 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4
band
One of your friends is planning to visit your country and asking you for some information. Write a letter to him/her and say: o when the best time to visit your country is o suggest a plan for the travel o recommend places to visit in your country
I hope you are in a good situation. I have to read your letter yesterday, I am so sorry I forget to reply your letter. I heard you would like to visit Indonesia, right? I am happy if you are visit my country. Moreover, we can spend time together. I would like to give your suggestion what place you should to visit. When you coming to Indonesia, you must to visit Bali. Bali is the one of the most place you to visit. In there you can visit some place such as Canggu and Kuta.
4
band
Nowadays people like to use new electronic equipment. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
Electronic devices have spreaded fastly and begun to utilizing wide range of field from healthcare assistance to navigation. At this point a question comes to the minds: whether the use of electronic devises is a positive amendment? It can be easily stated that using electronic devices makes people’s lives easier by helping on the road and monitoring general health status without a licenced medical worker.
4.5
band
Today people do less exercise. Some people believe that conducting sporting events such as the Olympics or World Cup encourage people to live healthy while others indicate that there are various other methods to remain healthy. Discuss both views and state your opinion.
It is considered by some that Olympics or World Cup can encourage people to keep fit, while there are other who think that we have other chioce to remain healthy. In my opinion, I believe that Olympics may not encourage people to keep healthy, and if people want, there have a lot of way to stay healthy.
7
band
Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school, Do the advantages of this outweight disadvantages.
It is thought that studying foreign languages at elementary school has more benefits rather than at secondary school. This essay will discuss both pros and cons of this phenomenon and provide examples. Personally, I firmly agree with that statement due to some justifications.
5
band
The US film industry has too much influence on the film industry around the world. Governments have a duty to invest money in their own film industries to protect and develop their cultures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
The dominant film industry in the world is American. Some people see this is a bad thing and think that governments should invest money in their film industries to protect and develop their culture. I would agree with this to an extent however I also think there are advantages to the American films.

Nowadays a large amount of advertising aimed at children should be banned because of the negative effects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

One of your friends is planning to visit your country and asking you for some information. Write a letter to him/her and say: o when the best time to visit your country is o suggest a plan for the travel o recommend places to visit in your country

Nowadays people like to use new electronic equipment. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Today people do less exercise. Some people believe that conducting sporting events such as the Olympics or World Cup encourage people to live healthy while others indicate that there are various other methods to remain healthy. Discuss both views and state your opinion.

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school, Do the advantages of this outweight disadvantages.

The US film industry has too much influence on the film industry around the world. Governments have a duty to invest money in their own film industries to protect and develop their cultures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?