Some people say that music is a good way of bringing different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #music #cultures #ages

It is suggested by some people that

music

is the efficient way of bringing various ages of groups and cultures together.

However

, I

Accept space

ould partially agree with

this

statement because not in all case

s various cul

Accept comma addition

cases, various

tures and age groups may join together due to

music

To begin

with, in most cases there are gaps between young and old generation toward each of their opinion and taste.

For instance

, when it comes to

music

preference older generations woul

d pre

Suggestion

Would

fer to listen some insightful and classical

music

, while younger people more interested in listening rock , p

Accept space

genres of

music

Thus

, it seems doubtful that

music

can bring different tastes of young and senior people together.

On the other hand

music

may be one reason to join different cultures of people together.

For example

,it

Accept space

s common to see

music

lovers around the world unite on social networks and are discussing common liking musics.

Hence

music

can be a great factor to create a friendship between different nationalities over the world. In conclusion, there can be some gene

ration dif

Suggestion

generational

ferences in terms of

music

, y

Accept space

it might improve fren

dship bet

the state of being friends (or friendly)

friendship

ween nati

ons.

Suggestion

Nations

Submitted by rakhimberganovashahnoza on Thu May 21 2020

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Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

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Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

6 paragraphs

189 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.5

Complete response

4.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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