Some people believe that it would be better if the whole family involved in bringing up children rather than only parents. What is your opinion?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays due
Accept comma addition
Nowadays, due
to hectic lifestyle, people are bound to raise their young ones in nuclear
family which
Accept comma addition
family, which
raise discussion
that is
Linking Words
it better to
upbring
Suggestion
the children in joint family. In my opinion, family plays a cardinal role in the development a child which irreplaceable.
Firstly
Linking Words
, joint Families includes various personalities with leave their own impression on children and
this
Linking Words
leads in better development. To illustrate
this
Linking Words
,
grandparents
Suggestion
the grandparents
are believed to impart morals and values in kids helping them to know their limits in respect to their behaviour and activities. Children learn to give respect to everyone and get praise in return which boost them to do goodwill to others.
Secondly
Linking Words
, it is often seen in modern family that toddlers are affected with new illnesses like hyper syndrome and delayed milestone in relation to speech.
This
Linking Words
means that toddlers get frustrated in nuclear families as they get bored of their parents, results in augmentation of anger in them and in continuation due to lack of contact of family members, there is
delay
Suggestion
a delay
in formation of speech in them.
This
Linking Words
leads to a horrendous situation as
kids
Suggestion
the kids
are getting
retard
Suggestion
retarded
. Joint family
overcome
Suggestion
overcomes
these diseases easily as there are
variety
Suggestion
a variety
of options available in front of young minds to learn the diversity and keep them Involve in activities, avoiding the boredom and frustration.
Thirdly
Linking Words
, expanded families support their children to try new activities which many times results in innovations one cannot think of.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, children feel safe under the Shadow of uncles and aunts as they know the warmth eldest shower on them. Mentally and physically, young ones with the support of elders in wider families learn to behave socially which widen the
thinking perspective
Accept comma addition
thinking, perspective
of children which is not possible in single family structure.
Lastly
Linking Words
, large families
contribute
Suggestion
contributes
in avoiding the unnecessary conflicts between father and mother because of which many times children suffer.
For example
Linking Words
, it is often seen that in case of disagreement in nuclear families, the
frustation
the feeling that accompanies an experience of being thwarted in attaining your goals
frustration
blown upon
young ones
Suggestion
the young ones
by scolding or beating them as there is no one present to handle the situation.
h
Suggestion
H
conclusion joint
Accept comma addition
conclusion, joint
families are integral in better raising of the kids and there are many facts which support the same as discussed above.
Submitted by sidhusukhdev123 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • obey
  • authority
  • guidance
  • experience
  • knowledge
  • beneficial
  • harmful
  • mistakes
  • independent
  • critical thinking
  • creativity
  • problem-solving
  • responsibility
  • self-reliance
  • opinion
What to do next:
Look at other essays: