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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that the only way to judge someone’s success in business is by the amount of money they make. Is money a true indicator of the success of a business? In what other ways could success in a business be measured?

#people #judge #someone’s #success #business #amount #money #indicator
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Business
Use synonyms
’s
success
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 is often estimated in yearly profit it makes. Large sums of money i
s
Suggestion
are
an indication of a prosperous
business
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 for some experts.
However
Linking Words
, there are other factors that impact majority’s opinion about w
eather
introduces two alternatives
whether
business
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 successful or not, among which can be highlighted
such
Linking Words
 as employees’ satisfaction level, quality of product or service provided by the
company
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, environmentally- friendly character of
c
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ompany’s activity.
Suggestion
the company’s activity
To begin
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 with, whereas some companies considered by some people as very successful because of a significant amount of funds they earn,
this
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 is only a component of genuine
success
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. Companies which are honest and clear in their policies are highly valued in
society
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.
Furthermore
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, if a large
company
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 dismiss or offend important in
society
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 principles it can affect substantially its image.
For instance
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, a
company
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 which hides a part of profit to avoid paying taxes might gain a negative reputation as dishonest.
Therefore
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, in order to truly prospers companies concerns should be not only about obtaining more money.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, as many stories tell i
nitial approach
Suggestion
the initial approach
of world’s most successful companies was not p
rofit but
Accept comma addition
profit, but
finding a solution to a problem.
T
Linking Words
his,
Suggestion
Thus
 unconsciously often results in contribution to
society
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 which indeed makes
success
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 of those companies i
ntegral.
Suggestion
integrate
For instance
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, Bill Gates’ idea was that i
nternet
Suggestion
the internet
should be free for everyone,
this
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 way of thinking, indeed allowed his Microsoft
company
Use synonyms
 to succeed enormously. It might seem that unique service as in
this
Linking Words
 example could be hugely lucrative if monetized more, the reality shows the opposite. To conclude,
although
Linking Words
 it is a common idea to judge
business
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success
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 by funds in its bank, closer consideration reveals that estimating
business
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success
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 includes a range of factors. To achieve a true
success
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 a
company
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 has to be honest with its customers and its main aim should be c
ontribution
Suggestion
contributing
contribute
contributed
to
society
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by dariagushchina on

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