IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people say that modern innovations bring a lot more problems than benefits? Do you agree or disagree?

#people #innovations
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is often
debateable
open to doubt or debate
debatable
 that technological innovations causing more troubles than making one's
life
Use synonyms
 easier.
However
Linking Words
, I completely disagree with
this
Linking Words
 view, and in upcoming paragraphs I will explain why. There are various reasons why people believe that technology nowadays causing problems.
First
Linking Words
 and foremost reason is overuse of smart phones. People think that it is
main cause
Suggestion
a main cause
the main cause
 of isolation rather than bringing people
togather
Suggestion
to gather
, as young generations stick to their phones all the time.
Also
Linking Words
, they neglect their physical fitness and getting health complications in
earlt stage
Suggestion
the early stage
early stage
earliest stage
 of
life
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the radiations caused by
moblie
migratory
mobile
 phones and telecommunication. It is putting several
birds's
Suggestion
birds'
Use synonyms
life
Suggestion
lives
 in jeopardy.
Therefore
Linking Words
, many of them are on the verge of extinction, which is
casuing
the act of causing something to happen
causing
 imbalance in
ecological system
Suggestion
the ecological system
ecological systems
an ecological system
.
This
Linking Words
 is not a good thing for human survival.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, I do not agree with
this
Linking Words
 view and believe that technology has far more benefits, but only if it is used
in
Suggestion
with
 a limit. Because excessive use of anything is always bad. Creation of air-crafts, for
exapmle
an item of information that is typical of a class or group
example
, makes todays
life
Use synonyms
 more convenient. People can go anywhere without confronting any problems. As well as it is time and money saving mode of transportation.
In addition
Linking Words
, forecasting of weather is another tremendous invention of science. If there is any natural
clamity
an event resulting in great loss and misfortune
calamity
 about to occur,
then
Linking Words
 people come
know
Suggestion
to know
 about it before many days. So they have enough time to evacuate the place and save their lives.
This
Linking Words
 is all possible because of weather prediction applications. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 there are strong
arguements
a fact or assertion offered as evidence that something is true
arguments
 that technology cause more problems, but I would
aruge
present reasons and arguments
argue
urge
 that modern innovations are extremely helpful. The only thing is to keep in mind is that use it wisely.
Submitted by mappygill000 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: