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Band 4

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry.

#spite #advances #agriculture #people #world
It is certainly true that,
although
 the methods of farming are improved during recent decades,
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
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it is obvious that the
Number
Fix capitalization
number
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 of people who are suffering from Food poverty
increase
Wrong verb form
has increased
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 around the world every day significantly.
Also
, there are several reasons for
this
 problem, and various measures can be taken by governments and individuals to
boost
Verb problem
improve
show examples
 the situation. On the one hand, as we know the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
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 of humans who are fighting
with
Change preposition
apply
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hunger
rise
Correct subject-verb agreement
rises
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Every day, especially in poor countries,
it
Correct word choice
and it
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 may be caused by a variety of factors.
Firstly
,
on
Correct your spelling
one
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 of the most important issues
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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we face in
agriculture
Add an article
the agriculture
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 industry is
that
Correct word choice
apply
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the lack of knowledge and education On
this
 by farmers.
Secondly
, there are some countries
where
Correct word choice
that
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 use traditional methods to supply their food resources and meet their needs wrongly.
Hence
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
A large proportion of energy and sources
Consume
Wrong verb form
are consumed
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 wastefully.
On the other hand
, the best way to solve
this
 problem would be to consider all the aspects of mechanized agriculture.
For
example
Add a comma
example,
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 manage our natural sorts of water and soil and rely on new approaches
of
Change preposition
to
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 planting which can
very
Add a missing verb
be very
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 helpful to change Our condition.
In addition
, governments and individuals are responsible
due to
 how they behave against social problems and civilian issues.
In
Change preposition
As
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 a result, it is going to be noticeable that helping other humans
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 us to have mental health. In conclusion, both
government
Correct article usage
the government
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 and
people
Correct article usage
the people
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 should tackle famine and hunger by managing resources and developing
farming
Correct article usage
a farming
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 system.If the measures are taken,
then
 the famine will be destroyed by us.
Submitted by sarvnaz.shadi2000 on

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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