Since the 18th century technological advances have replaced people in the workplace. With today's technology this process is happening at a greater rate. Technology is increasingly responsible for unemployment. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
It is undoubtedly true that machinery has been increasing at an alarming pace for the
last
one or two Centuries. However
, These Artificial intelligence technologies become the staple logic to abolish several kinds of positions permanently. I adamantly agree with the notion that automation is the paramount reason why numerous kinds of positions have finished or going to decrease in the near future. I will try to give some reasons for how advancement affects the workforce sector in the upcoming paragraphs.
Commence with the first logic that is
associated with to decline of enormous professions is due to
demand and production from consumers. To elaborate on this
, the majority of firms that are very well-known in the world and due to
their demand, have to make something in bulk to compete with the consumer's requirements that they never make without the help of advanced automobiles. So,this
accessive utilization of instruments becomes the cause of unemployment in third-world countries. For example
, India is a most populated country, and this
nation is unable to meet the demand of purchasers without advanced automation. Consequently
, This
massive handling of robotics and gadgets brings the countries toward joblessness.
Further
strengthening the viewpoint why automation become catastrophic for the job sector, some of the chores that were done by the workforce previously and centuries ago people easily found profession but after the introduction of the automobile this
becomes a matter of a skilled person in specific skills instead
of the massive workforce. For Instance
, many of the big companies utilise sophisticated gadgets for construction work all around the world which may lead to a dramatic decline in daily earnings. Therefore
, it is very difficult for the labourers to find work according to
their choice.
On the contrary
, few make some argument that well-advanced instruments are an integral part of the notions and these autonomous objects help the nation to become economically stronger and give their best to produce several employments in different kind of domain that are very helpful for the mankind to earn more for their luxurious lifestyle.
In conclusion, I believe that gadgets are best for growing economically but their usage should be limited otherwise
, it would be impossible for individuals to find positions to complete their basic needs such
as shelter and food who live in third-world countries.Submitted by jagdeepsandhu357 on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay's structure is challenging to follow, with unclear transitions between ideas. Work on your paragraphs' connectivity, using linking words and topic sentences to create a better structure that guides the reader through your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your introductory and conclusion paragraphs are relevant but need to be further developed. They should clearly state your main argument and summarise your reasons and evidence coherently.
coherence cohesion
While you provide some examples and reasons, you must expand on these with more detailed explanations and real-world evidence to support your statements more convincingly.
task achievement
Address the task directly, offering a balanced discussion with a clear opinion throughout the essay. Ensure you fully respond to all parts of the prompt and maintain focus on the prompt's topic throughout your essay.
task achievement
Aim for clarity and depth in your ideas. They should be explained comprehensively with adequate support, such that a reader can understand your points without struggling.
task achievement
Use a wider range of specific examples that are directly relevant to the topic. It strengthens your argument and demonstrates a deeper understanding of the subject.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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