Students tend to choose a part-time job to earn money during the University students’ life, so they cannot balance between the work and study. How could this issue affect the future generation and what are the solutions to have a better life on the university study level?

#students #job #money #university #students’ #life #balance #work #study #future #generation #level

The balance of working and studying has never failed to draw public attention and provoke de

bates.

Suggestion

debate

The majority of students tend to

work

part-time during their student’s life. In

this

following essay, driving forces behind

this

phenomenon will be discussed ,

Accept space

ong with appropriate solutions to them. There are diverse reasons to believe that

this

tendency might be considered detrimental impacts on st

udent’s life .

Suggestion

a student’s life

student’s lives

the student’s life

Accept space

Firstly

, the school fees of universities are considered as overwhelming financial burdens for some students and their families ,

Accept space

articularly destitute classes.These students are forced to

work

part-time to stand on their own feet economically and independently .

Accept space

Consequently

, split their time between working and studying can affect (they can be lost) their concentration ,

Accept space

eading to the deteriorating results of their qualifications.

Secondly

, the job market is becoming increasingly competitive, and sometimes, there are hundred of applicants for one position in a good company.

Therefore

, students with bad grades might confront losing their competitiveness when applying to companies after graduation. In order to tackle

this

issue, there are various steps that students should take into account.

First

and foremost, they should focus on studying to ameliorate their fundamental foundations which are reflected countless opportunities in near future.

Furthermore

, governments should have an educational campaign about limited working hour policies, in which students can raise their awareness about the significant roles of education and putting it in

first

priority position. The great of

this

stances w

Suggestion

instance

ould be the regulations in Si

ngapore where i

Accept comma addition

Singapore, where

nternational students are banned to

work

any part-time jobs as the government expects them to study rather than

work

. Another possible solution Is the stimulation of sc

holarships which i

Accept comma addition

scholarships, which

s donated by universities and philanthropists .

Accept space

t can make shoulder less economic responsibilities for students and their families as well as deal with their financial issues,

therefore

students can pay their at

tentions o

Suggestion

attention

n studying successfully and effectively. In conclusion, due to some problems mentioned above, it is an uphill battle for many students who take up part-time jobs .

Accept space

tudents ,

Accept space

rganisations and the government should take different measures remained into serious consideration to

further

ameliorate these problems. It allows students to do what they do best, and

that is

to study.

Submitted by tien.phamnguyen91 on Sat May 23 2020

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

367 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Students tend to choose a part-time job to earn money during the University students’ life, so they cannot balance between the work and study. How could this issue affect the future generation and what are the solutions to have a better life on the university study level?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people believe that it is good to share as much as information as possible in scientific research, business, and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important to be shared freely?

Nowadays, more people move away from their friends and families for work. Do advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

A rise in the standard of living in a country often only seems to benefit cities rather than rural areas. What problems can this cause? How might these problems be reduced?

Some people think that the main benefit of international cooperation is in the protection of the environment, while others believe that the main interest is in world business. Discuss both views and give your opinion.