Some people use social media to keep in touch with other people and news events. Do you think advantages of this technology outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #media #touch #news #events #technology

It is considered by some that social networking sites help

people

to get in contact with each other

as well as

with the news. In my opinion, I think social

media

can bring about more problems for

people

compared to any advantages it might bring. Admittedly, there are some benefits to the

people

from using social networking platforms.

Firstly

, it helps

people

to be in contact who

stays

Verb problem

live

show examples

far away, especially,

someone

who lives in another country or who

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

not able to meet each other very frequently, can talk with each other through any social

media

platform.

Furthermore

, there

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

some relatives or close

friend

Fix the agreement mistake

friends

show examples

who are not able to attend special one’s celebrations or events physically,

can

Correct word choice

and can

show examples

be present virtually,

for example

video

Change preposition

via video

show examples

call.

Secondly

, social

media

helps

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

people

to read news from all around the world from anywhere.

In other words

, some

people

who are not able to get enough time to read the newspaper

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

can use

this

platform for reading news anytime they are free.

Nevertheless

, despite the advantages above, I believe

people

could face serious drawbacks from social

media

. One potentially dangerous is cyber bullying which is increasing, particularly, in teenagers.

In other words

, some

people

imitate

someone

else or victims’

friend

Fix the agreement mistake

friends

show examples

and trick them into getting all the information about them or

someone

else as much as possible.

This

information is

then

used

for harassing

Change preposition

to harass

show examples

the victim and

taking

Wrong verb form

take

show examples

money from them,

moreover

, there are some weak

people

who are not able to handle

this

Correct word choice

and, consequently

show examples

consequently

, commit suicide. Another obvious issue is that

someone

can misuse the

photo

Fix the agreement mistake

photos

show examples

which are posted on an individual’s account.

This

can again result in harassment or exposing those pictures after editing them, as there

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

various editing

platform

Fix the agreement mistake

platforms

show examples

available for free nowadays. In conclusion, misusing

someone

’s private information and harassing

people

far outweighs any of the minor benefits that could result from social

media

Submitted by mansiichauhan on Sat May 23 2020

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task response

Ensure to fully address the prompt by discussing both advantages and disadvantages of social media. Include more specific examples to support your points.

coherence cohesion

Overall, your essay is well-structured with a clear introduction and conclusion. Work on linking your ideas more effectively throughout the essay for better coherence.

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

317 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people use social media to keep in touch with other people and news events. Do you think advantages of this technology outweigh the disadvantages?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people believe that most crime is a result of circumstances, e.g. poverty and other social problems. Others, however, believe most crime is caused by people who are bad by nature. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Do you think that an aging society will disappear? What are the advantages and disadvantages of having more old people in society?

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