Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#celebrities #glamour #wealth #achievements #sets #people

Those days well-known people, have a

great

Suggestion

greater

honour for their glamour and riches than for their winnings and some reckons said that

this

bad

factors

Suggestion

factor

come

Suggestion

comes

up with the wrong idea on young people's mind. I completely disagree with the idea that celebrities are becoming an arrogant person out of their fatality rates. On the one hand, more and more famous people proud of their

wealth

and glamour rather than their achievements and there is no suspect

amoung

in the middle of

among

younger generation's brain. Oppositely, their moral rates can stimulate and encourage the peer's interest in every

beanch

a division of some larger or more complex organization

branch

of industry and development.

Moreover

, well-known people who

are succeed

Suggestion

are succeeding

are succeeded

have succeeded

in life and did their best

Suggestion

the way of being celebrities it means that there is no point in putting for word their winnings and hard-works. The only thing is that celebrities can show off their position and

wealth

this

up to-date world

For example

, Donald Trump, one of the richest

man

Suggestion

men

in the world who can lead the state with his glamorous and

wealth

On the other hand

, more and more young people are becoming an arrogant person

Suggestion

with

the help of well-known people. Because, those are able to be followed by a great deal of teenagers for their lower

morality

the quality or state of being mortal

mortality

rates. That kind of celebrities set out their honour not only for showing

off but

Accept comma addition

off, but

also

to sensible in the life position. What's more, Donald

Trump who

Accept comma addition

Trump, who

is likely to be one example of teens view about bad

fatility

the ratio of live births in an area to the population of that area; expressed per 1000 population per year

fertility

circumstance. A lot of teenager's took after him and escaped being a humble person.

This

is a real fact of putting forward the glamours and riches of famous persons. In conclusion, No matter how celebrities get out their achievements or

wealth

the younger generations

attantion

Suggestion

attention

attenuation

attentions

should be destined for making progress on their sphere. Because,

immitaion

any strong feeling

emotion

is not good action for everybody it may be

leads

Suggestion

leading

us to the correct way or not people do not know. The final point is that everyone should keep their own prospect and development

out look

a habitual or characteristic mental attitude that determines how you will interpret and respond to situations

outlook

Submitted by abduvokhidovjavokhir on Sat May 23 2020

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Fully explain your ideas

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
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Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

340 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

glamour
wealth
achievements
portrayed
overshadow
influenced
lifestyles
unrealistic
expectations
values
promoting
hard work
perseverance
inspire
positive impact

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Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Fully explain your ideas

After finishing school some student go travelling or work for a period of time instead of going directly to university. Do you think the advantages of gap years outweigh the disadvantages ?

countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Is it good for children to start using computers from an early age and spend long hours on them? Discuss the advantages and disadvantages.

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together to what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Every day, millions of tons of food are wasted all over the world. Why do you think this happening? And how can we solve this problem?