IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to cooperate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons to your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experiences. Write at least 250 words.

#minutes #topic #people #sense #competition #children #adults #experiences
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Children
is known
Suggestion
are known
 as the future of us, so that the education for children is one of the most
norable
worthy of notice
notable
 aspects. Some people
concern
Suggestion
are concerned
 that we should encourage the
sense
 of
competition
 in children should be
encourage
Suggestion
encouraged
. In fact, the
sense
 of
competition
 is the main reason
of
Suggestion
to
 hard-working try and succeed. Children with
sense
Suggestion
a sense
 of
competition
 would have more
resparation
 to study, and have more encouragements in any activities. But it can lead to some wrong ways of thinking so teaching them carefully about
sense
 of
competition
 is absolutely essential.
On the other hand
, some others claim that teaching children that cooperation rather than compete can turn
in to
expresses motion to a point on, or within, something
into
 more useful adults. Co-operation is of the fundamental abilities that a human should have, children can not study effectively if they don’t interact with their parents. Human can not survive if they live alone. In summary, I think that
sense
 of
competition
 and cooperation is both very essential. A successful person is the one has
sense
 of
competition but
Accept comma addition
competition, but
 knows how to cooperate with others.
Submitted by minhvydhdl on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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