why do you want to go to tomujin alternative high school?

At my current
school I
Accept comma addition
school, I
just write down what does my teacher said and copy- paste the text book. When I got back from
school
all I do was those assignments and the homework they assigned.
Finally when
Accept comma addition
Finally, when
I studied all day long I went to bed. That
was
Suggestion
has been
my entire
school
routine since 7th grade. I don’t want to waste my whole high
school
year just copying and calculating. I do want to follow my passion and learn new things. And I hope Tomujin alternative high
school
will help me to become empowered and give me
an
Suggestion
a
skills
Suggestion
skill
that will be
need
Suggestion
needed
in my life.
Also
one of the
reason
Suggestion
reasons
is the environment. The students will sharpen themselves to achieve their goal, because the community will be built of 200 different individuals
whos have
Suggestion
who shave
their own
paasion
a strong feeling or emotion
passion
passions
person
and own trait. I really wish to join them and help
somebody
any person
anyone
to become stronger and happier. When I graduate I want to see
a
Suggestion
an
open-minded independent
Accept comma addition
open-minded, independent
woman who uses her knowledge to help others. And I wish her to be an alumna of tomujin
Submitted by misheelgalbadrakh2 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: