IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays online shopping is extremely popular. Discuss the impact of it on the environment and on people who lost their jobs because of it.

#impact #environment #people #jobs
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Undoubtedly, online shopping is hugely trendy among people these days.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss the effects of
this
Linking Words
 trend on the environment, including a traffic
congestions
Suggestion
congestion
 reduction on the streets, and an air pollution decline.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it will mention the influences of
this
Linking Words
 method of shopping
on
Suggestion
for
 individuals who lost their businesses, including a stress increase, and a growth in crime rate. On the one hand, online shopping is beneficial for the environment.
Traffic jam
Suggestion
The traffic jam
A traffic jam
 is currently a contemporary issue for many large cities around the world.
However
Linking Words
, since online buyers are not required anymore to travel to giant supermarkets to purchase their needed items, the number of traffic congestions has declined on the streets enormously.
Besides
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 method of shopping helps keep clean the air, as buyers are not needed to drive their vehicles or use public transport to get to
shopping malls
Suggestion
the shopping malls
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, if everyone decides to purchase online, many businesses will go bankrupt, causing massive stress on business owners, as they cannot have any income to survive and cover their living expenses.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, when the number of unemployed people increases significantly, criminal activities occur more frequently in societies putting higher pressure on
police
Suggestion
the police
. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 online shopping is beneficial for the environment because of a reduction in traffic jams and air pollution, it is
also
Linking Words
 harmful to people who become jobless because they would have an increase in stress and a growth in crime rate.
As a result
Linking Words
, policymakers should view
this
Linking Words
 matter as a double-edged sword, and decide wisely whether everyone should buy online or not.
Submitted by asasi.kamal on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: