IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The diagram below shows the recycling process of aluminium cans. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows the recycling process of aluminium cans. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The diagram illustrates how aluminium
cans
Use synonyms
 are recycled. The process consists of many steps(7?), starting from the collection and
finishig
Correct your spelling
finishing
(ending?) with a new recycled product. Thanks to
this
Linking Words
 cycle, the UK is able to reintroduce
around
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the? 74% of the old wasted
cans
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the used
cans
Use synonyms
 are thrown into specific containers and
then
Linking Words
 collected by a recycling company and brought
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 their factories, ready to initiate the recycling (rep) procedures.
Secondly
Linking Words
, those
cans
Use synonyms
, after being cleaned and sorted, are shredded and compacted into blocks. In the following step, those aluminium blocks are melted at very high temperatures and, once the metal is become pliable, (they are)
disposed
Add the preposition
ofdisposed
show examples
/introduced
?
Change the punctuation
.
show examples
 on/into special machines that transform them into 2.5 to 6mm thick rolls.
Finally
Linking Words
, the rolls are used to create brand new
cans
Use synonyms
, ready to be sold to beverage companies, filled and reintroduced in the market. The whole cycle
it
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
then
Linking Words
 repeated.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
▼
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
▼
Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words cans with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: