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Band 5.5

"Fatherhood ought to be emphasised as much as motherhood. The idea that women are solely responsiblefor deciding whether or not to have babies leads on to the idea that they are also responsible for bringing the children up."

#fatherhood #motherhood #idea #women #responsiblefor #babies #children
The evolving rule of women in society in the
last
 two decades was remarkable. They have abolished the “ four walls “ philosophy and they can be seen as a vital part of the working community.
However
, that was not without negative side effects. Some people argue that the number of crimes committed by teenagers has considerably increased
as a result
. In my opinion, I agree that there are issues that arise from the absence of
maternity
Suggestion
maternal
 supervision of young people. Before women start working, husbands used to be the only breadwinner in the family. The main
role
 of females used to be to raise the children.
However
,
this
 is no longer the case. Dual income families, where both parents are working, are more popular in many countries than ever before. There is a definite disadvantage of
this
 new approach is the lack of a
role
 model. While men spent hours at work, wives used to play
this
role
 for their offspring. Because the code of conduct and conventions could be absorbed by children from their mothers at an early age, mothers need to allocate more time with them. Another serious drawback is the absence of proper guidance. Normally, children will have many questions for which they need clear answers or explanations from their parents. While they
can not
can not
cannot
 discriminate between sources, they could be misguided by their peers or the internet. Of course, those who say that women are a pivotal part of the working force, are quite correct; but it is
also
 true,
however
, that the main
role
 for them is to ensure the proper raising of their children to be better integrated into the community. In conclusion, I would not wish to undermine the importance or the right to work for every woman.
However
, their work should not contradict with their main duty to raise their children.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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