IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In many countries around the world young people decide to leave their parents’ home once they finish school. They start living on their own or sharing a home with friends. Is this a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples.

#countries #world #people #parents’ #home #school #friends #development
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In the era of ICT, the teens are
also
Linking Words
 in the era of competitiveness in investing and investigating knowledge and experiences for that. The younger, the better in all. In present days, the trending of youths choosing to live on their own after finishing graduation becomes more fashionable. My opinion leads
this
Linking Words
 statement to positive
impact
Use synonyms
 on both personally and economically. The
first
Linking Words
 reason that supports to my opinion is that standing alone in daily
life
Use synonyms
 makes youngs aspire to struggle for their lives. By the virtue of
this
Linking Words
 fact, they come to realize their own capacities and self-values.
For instance
Linking Words
, when the mid-adults live on their own, they have to know and handle basic daily chores
such
Linking Words
 as cooking, cleaning the house, paying the utility bills, managing personal finance, purchasing daily commodities, adopting hobbies and many more important skills. It helps them to able to manage their tasks as well. The sequel to
such
Linking Words
 a lifestyle has posit
ive
Suggestion
a positive impact
impact
Use synonyms
 on the teens who pay more attention to their own needs and interests focused on getting a chance of success in both their work and their lives. Another reason is that the rise in one-person household enables the young
sters self
Suggestion
youngster's
youngsters'
-dependent. By
this
Linking Words
, I mean it has a greater
impact
Use synonyms
 on the development of the country in a broader sense.
For example
Linking Words
, we can see in our society that student who stay away from home for his or her tertiary degrees learn more skills and become more self-dependent than those who study from home.
Besides
Linking Words
, the teens leading a
life
Use synonyms
 as single dwellers are bound to get a job for a steady earning and focus more on their own career and ambition, which in turn benefits the whole society.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 trend has a great positive
impact
Use synonyms
 on a country’s economy.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, it is necessary to take into account of some drawbacks of living alone. Solo
life
Use synonyms
 can be becoming increasingly complex in the interest of the fact that living independently can be extremely costly and property price is just skyrocketing. Meanwhile, lone occupants are more likely to get depression, anxiety and uncertainty with bearing all household responsibilities on top of pursuing a work
life
Use synonyms
 than family-oriented people.
As a result
Linking Words
, single people tend to lead a hectic as well as burdensome
life
Use synonyms
. In consequence of
this
Linking Words
, they can feel resented and anguished. At that end, their lifestyle can shift towards negative one. In a net shell, while the determination to live by oneself may offer some drawbacks to the teens, it is more of a positive development in the modern society. It seems better to me that living solo should be seen as a progr
ess.
Suggestion
progression
Submitted by htethtetsandy on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: