MORE PEOPLE TODAY ARE OVERWEIGHT THAN EVER BEFORE. WHAT ARE THE PRIMARY CAUSES OF THIS? WHAT MEASURES CAN BE TAKEN TO OVERCOME THIS EPIDEMIC.

It is widely acknowledged that there has been a drastic increase in the number of overweight people.

Although

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this

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negative development can be attributed to a number of reasons, both individuals and governments can take steps to remedy the situation. Two main factors are to blame for the rise in

obesity

Use synonyms

First

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, people nowadays are experiencing a much more sedentary lifestyle than those in the past.

For example

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, most of us, especially school students and office workers spend hours a day sitting and working behind a desk, which causes them not only

obesity

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but

also

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other health-related diseases

such

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as diabetes.

Second

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, a lot of people often incline to unhealthy diets due to their tastiness and convenient.

This

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tendency to eat unhealthily, coupled with a lack of exercise, has made a great number of people

over weight

usually describes a large person who is fat but has a large frame to carry it

overweight

. There are measures that could be implemented to deal with these root causes of

obesity

Use synonyms

To begin

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with, parents are expected to keep track on their children's eating habits as well as to ensure that they follow a healthy diet. By building a healthy eating pattern at an early age, children are more likely to keep it as they mature, which would help them avoid

over eating

eating to excess (personified as one of the deadly sins)

overeating

and being overweight.

Furthermore

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, the government could play an integral role in

investing taxes

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investing, taxes

to build up free public fitness parks and run health-awareness campaigns for their citizens.

This

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would not only stimulate people’s eagerness to join in free

exercise but

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exercise, but

also

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educate them about the consequences and benefits of a sedentary lifestyle and an active one respectively. In conclusion, the surge in

obesity

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rates can be ascribed to a decline in physical activity level and unhealthy diets, and the solution would lie in developing healthy eating habits in children, free fitness facilities and awareness-raising campaigns.

khaipq95

May 25, 2020

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

300 words

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MORE PEOPLE TODAY ARE OVERWEIGHT THAN EVER BEFORE. WHAT ARE THE PRIMARY CAUSES OF THIS? WHAT MEASURES CAN BE TAKEN TO OVERCOME THIS EPIDEMIC.

Instead of asking the government to bear the cost of higher education, students should pay their own tuition fees themselves. Do you agree or disagree with this statement

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