It is impossible to help all people in the world, so governments should only focus on people in their own countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is true that some
governments
of developed nations choose to engage in foreign affairs in different areas.
Although
some believe that people inside the country are the ones who need the most help from the
Fix the agreement mistake
government
show examples
governments
,
governments
still cannot ignore people from the rest of the
world
.
It is clear that
many countries in the
world
still have not recognized fundamental human rights.
First,
citizens
of those countries are deprived of their freedom and are oppressed in many inhumane ways. Many Vietnamese dissidents,
for example
, were sentenced to death by the Vietnamese authority, which could have been saved if the US government had tried to prevent that from happening.
Second,
since
citizens
of those countries are not armed and lack
of
Change preposition
apply
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negotiating power, they are unable to claim their democracy back. By using diplomatic pressure to negotiate the terms, the
governments
from
Change preposition
of
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developed nations
allows
Change the verb form
allow
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citizens
from overseas to influence their own
governments
in the policy-making process. It has been true in many cases that prolonged poverty cannot be solved without
the
Correct article usage
apply
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assistance from foreign
governments
. One product of poverty is hunger, causing millions of deaths every year all around the
world
. If outside
governments
had stepped in and provided financial assistance, those lives would have been saved.
In addition
to financial support, governmental organizations can help provide
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
education and skills for those
citizens
. Plenty of evidence
have
Change the verb form
has
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suggested that the most effective way to overcome poverty is education. In conclusion,
governments
cannot ignore people living in distress from the rest of the
world
. By providing education and financial support,
citizens
around the
world
would be able to live a better life.
Submitted by khaipq95 on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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