IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart gives information about the number of car journeys into the city centre made by residents and non-residents. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart gives information about the number of car journeys into the city centre made by residents and non-residents. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#bar #information #car #journeys #city #centre #residents #non-residents #summarise #features #comparisons
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The graph shows the average
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
number of vehicles that pass in the city centre per day from 1996 to 2005 and
also
Linking Words
differentiate
Correct subject-verb agreement
differentiates
show examples
 the
journeys
Use synonyms
 made by
residents
Use synonyms
 and non-
residents
Use synonyms
. It can clearly see that in the first years,
residents
Use synonyms
'
vehicle
Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
show examples
 dominate
this
Linking Words
 kind of traffic, in 1996
non-
Correct article usage
the non-residents'
show examples
residents
Use synonyms
'
vehicle
Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
show examples
 is almost half of the other
one
Fix the agreement mistake
ones
show examples
, 5000 versus 10000, and
this
Linking Words
 supremacy continues until 1999, with a slight increase
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
number of non-
residents
Use synonyms
journeys
Use synonyms
, that reach the peak value of 8500. After 2000, with the
introducing
Replace the word
introduction
show examples
 of parking meters in the city centre, it can be seen as a change of trend, in these years and in the
next
Linking Words
 years, we see a rapid decrease
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
Use synonyms
residents
Change noun form
residents'
resident's
show examples
journeys
Use synonyms
, with only a little increase in 2002. The
non
Add a hyphen
non-residents
show examples
residents
Use synonyms
ones
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
have a stable average, of about 8000, in the three year period, between 2000 to 2002, and
then
Linking Words
also
Linking Words
 fall down to a value of 3000
journeys
Use synonyms
 per day, cause of the closure of traffic on Westgate Street and Park Lane.
Submitted by kwarts on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words journeys, residents with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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