Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

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Recently, the debate on whether
competition
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should exist rather than
cooperation
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in work and study has become heated. As far as I am concerned, collaboration should be encouraged because it can create more long-term benefits for individuals and society.
This
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essay will examine both sides and elaborate on my view.
To begin
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with,
competition
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between rivals could promote innovation. Since businesses and students want to outperform one another, they are motivated to improve their performance and develop creative ideas.
As a result
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,
competition
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can encourage individuals and organisations to become more productive and ambitious.
For instance
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, technology companies
such
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as Google and Microsoft continuously compete in the field of artificial intelligence, which has accelerated technological development.
As a result
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,
competition
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strongly encourages innovation and contributes to social progress.
On the other hand
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,
cooperation
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can greatly increase efficiency in achieving goals. When firms cooperate with one another, each of them can focus on the tasks they specialise in.
As a result
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, collaboration leads to better allocation of resources and a more effective division of labour.
For example
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, in many international scientific research projects, researchers from different countries cooperate to share knowledge and achieve discoveries that would be difficult to accomplish individually. In conclusion,
competition
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can stimulate innovation and creativity by encouraging people to improve themselves continuously.
However
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,
cooperation
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is more beneficial in work and study because it improves efficiency, teamwork and communication among individuals.
Therefore
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, I believe people should collaborate with each other rather than compete excessively, as
cooperation
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is more likely to produce positive and sustainable outcomes in the long term.

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task response
Add one more clear idea for each side so your answer looks more full.
task response
Say your own view a bit earlier and keep it very clear in all body parts.
task response
Make the link between school, work, and daily life more direct.
coherence and cohesion
Use topic words at the start of each body part to guide the reader.
coherence and cohesion
Some linkers repeat. Try a wider range, but keep them natural.
coherence and cohesion
Develop each example a little more so each main point feels stronger.
task response
You answer both views and give your own opinion clearly.
task response
Your examples are relevant and easy to understand.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear beginning, middle, and end.
coherence and cohesion
Each body part stays on one main idea, so it is easy to follow.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • innovation
  • productivity
  • excel
  • outperform
  • advancements
  • academic standards
  • work ethic
  • stress
  • anxiety
  • unhealthy rivalries
  • harmonious
  • supportive
  • collaborative learning
  • social skills
  • communication skills
  • sense of community
  • collective goals
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