Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

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Recently, the debate on whether
competition
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should exist rather than
cooperation
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in work and study has become heated. As far as I am concerned, collaboration should be encouraged because it can create more long-term benefits for individuals and society.
This
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essay will examine both sides and elaborate on my view.
To begin
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with,
competition
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between rivals could promote innovation. Since businesses and students want to outperform one another, they are motivated to improve their performance and develop creative ideas.
As a result
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,
competition
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can encourage individuals and organisations to become more productive and ambitious.
For instance
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, technology companies
such
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as Google and Microsoft continuously compete in the field of artificial intelligence, which has accelerated technological development.
As a result
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,
competition
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strongly encourages innovation and contributes to social progress.
On the other hand
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,
cooperation
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can greatly increase efficiency in achieving goals. When firms cooperate with one another, each of them can focus on the tasks they specialise in.
As a result
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, collaboration leads to better allocation of resources and a more effective division of labour.
For example
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, in many international scientific research projects, researchers from different countries cooperate to share knowledge and achieve discoveries that would be difficult to accomplish individually. In conclusion,
competition
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can stimulate innovation and creativity by encouraging people to improve themselves continuously.
However
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,
cooperation
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is more beneficial in work and study because it improves efficiency, teamwork and communication among individuals.
Therefore
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, I believe people should collaborate with each other rather than compete excessively, as
cooperation
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is more likely to produce positive and sustainable outcomes in the long term.

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task response
For task response, make your side even more clear in each body part, not only in the end.
task response
For task response, add one more small idea about why cooperation is better in school or daily life, not only at work.
task response
For task response, explain the second main point a bit more deeply so the reader can see exactly how cooperation helps people.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, try not to repeat 'As a result' too many times. Use other linking words too.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, make the link between the question words 'work, school and daily life' and your body parts more direct.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, some topic sentences could be a little more exact, so each paragraph has a sharper focus.
task response
For task response, you discuss both views and give your own opinion clearly.
task response
For task response, your examples are relevant and help support your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your ideas move in a logical order and are easy to follow.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • innovation
  • productivity
  • excel
  • outperform
  • advancements
  • academic standards
  • work ethic
  • stress
  • anxiety
  • unhealthy rivalries
  • harmonious
  • supportive
  • collaborative learning
  • social skills
  • communication skills
  • sense of community
  • collective goals
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