IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Discuss is money the most important thing in life?

#money #life
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Today,
money
Use synonyms
 is the special thing which all of us need to live.
Money
Use synonyms
 plays an important role in our ever-growing society in all respects with rising costs.
However
Linking Words
,
money
Use synonyms
 is not the most important thing in
life
Use synonyms
. In fact, in a healthy
life
Use synonyms
,
money
Use synonyms
 often follows behind many other elements in our
life
Use synonyms
. From a social viewpoint,
money
Use synonyms
 affects our
life
Use synonyms
 a lot. We cannot live without
money
Use synonyms
. We need to spend
money
Use synonyms
 on eating, drinking, living and working. Even the wealthy are often
the more highly
Suggestion
the most highly
 respected members of society than the poorer.
Secondly
Linking Words
, from an educational standpoint
, usually only people
Suggestion
, people usually only
 having
money
Use synonyms
 can go to school. It does not mean that the poor cannot go to school, but it will be more difficult to access literacy and deep-
knowlegde
the psychological result of perception and learning and reasoning
knowledge
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there
are
Suggestion
is
 something I've found that are more important than
money
Use synonyms
.
First
Linking Words
 and foremost, it is physical health. Many people nowadays are busy with
earing
earn on some commercial or business transaction; earn as salary or wages
earning
money
Use synonyms
 leading to skipping meals, do not eat properly or sit for a long time to solve their task. That has a significant effect on health. The
second
Linking Words
 important thing is personal passions. In fact, there are many children born in well-off families who have no passion for themselves. They are simply brought up by their parents and even more depend on their parents. People should balance the role of
money
Use synonyms
 and many other factors in
life
Use synonyms
. All things considered,
money
Use synonyms
 is really important to share happiness.
Beside
Suggestion
Besides
, we must not forget other important things in
Use synonyms
life
Accept comma addition
life, such
such
Linking Words
 as healthy and passion.
Submitted by xoz52894 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: