Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. To what extend do you agree with this statement?

These days, many

tax payers

someone who pays taxes

taxpayers

argue about where should

government

Use synonyms

invest their

money

Use synonyms

. Whether, the

government

Use synonyms

spend

Suggestion

spends

their

money

Use synonyms

on arts like music and theatre, which many people perceive as monetary waste and contend that

such

Linking Words

investment

Use synonyms

should be shifted perhaps in public services. I disagree with

such

Linking Words

perception as many

unwealthy

not in or exhibiting good health in body or mind

unhealthy

children, who are interested in

arts

Suggestion

the arts

will be compromised because of it.

Firstly

Linking Words

, from those people’s

perspective

Suggestion

perspectives

, the

government

Use synonyms

’s

money

Use synonyms

ought to be invested in public services

such

Linking Words

as better infrastructure and transport facilities. It is undoubtedly imperative for many developing nations, where better transportation and infrastructure can boost the economy;

for example

Linking Words

, job prospects for many individuals and contribute to the growth of

country

Suggestion

the country

a country

Admitedly

Suggestion

Admittedly

requisiting

express the need or desire for; ask for

requesting

money

Use synonyms

for music and theatre activities will

disbalance

Suggestion

this

Linking Words

approach.

Nevertheless

Linking Words

, in my point of

view

Accept comma addition

view, such

such

Linking Words

idealogy

an orientation that characterizes the thinking of a group or nation

ideology

contributes to more harm than good in the

society

Use synonyms

. As many private companies will start investing in music and theatres;

therefore

Linking Words

, it is plausible that

such

Linking Words

arts will prosper only high-class

society

Use synonyms

Furthermore

Linking Words

, many poor children, who have

interest

Suggestion

an interest

in these arts will be left-out from these subjects.

Additionally

Linking Words

, the

government

Use synonyms

’s

investment

Use synonyms

arts

Suggestion

the arts

will not only help poor individuals, but

also

Linking Words

provide

talented artists platform

Suggestion

a talented artists' platform

talented artists' platform

the talented artists' platform

to represent the nation on a global level.

For instance

Linking Words

, National school of drama, a

government

Use synonyms

sponsored institute; has a wide reputation worldwide, where many students from all over the world participate in various courses.

This

Linking Words

allows many students from different part of

society

Use synonyms

to enhance their interested

skils

an ability that has been acquired by training

skills

schools

and create more job opportunities in their future. To sum up,

although

Linking Words

investment

Use synonyms

of the

government

Use synonyms

public sector

Suggestion

the public sector

is crucial to boost their economy,

however

Linking Words

, I believe that

investment

Use synonyms

arts

Suggestion

the arts

is as equal

for

Suggestion

the benefit of the

society

Use synonyms

and should not be considered as a waste of

money

Use synonyms

sahilrocks11

May 26, 2020

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

303 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

cultural enrichment
expression of creativity
promote diversity
enhance social cohesion
boost tourism
job creation
stimulate economic growth
improve quality of life
essential services
maintenance and development

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