IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Having more money and less free time is better than earning less money and having more free time. Discuss both views and state your opinion.

#money #time
It has been argued by some that having abundant wealth is necessary than a
quality
time
, while other concur that spending
quality
time
 is vital than being affluent. Whilst a discussion of both these views is worthwhile, I am a supporter of the latter notion, because in my opinion,
quality
time
 is essential in
life
 than having an enormous wealth According to some,
quality
time
 is noteworthy to live a pleasant
life
.
In other words
, having a pleasurable
time
 with our kith and kin gives a sense of satisfaction to individuals.
Moreover
, relishing these moments with loved ones help in bringing the change in monotonous lifestyle and to make people live a peaceful
life
.
For instance
, many wealthy people while on their death bed demand more
time
 to spend with their family.
Therefore
, looking towards the importance of
quality
time
 in
life
, I believe that making
money
 by compromising enjoyment of
life
 is worthless.
However
, some people opine that
money
 plays an important role to live a successful
life
. To elaborate, with better financial stability, people can provide more comfortable and luxurious lifestyle to their loved ones. The monetary benefits bring happiness to people so that they can provide educational and other health related facilities to their families. To illustrate, most people after their retirement, plan to go on world tour just to enjoy the rest part of their
life
 comfortable.
However
, I do not agree with the phenomenon that
money
 is significant to live delightful
life
. To conclude, while people may vary in their opinion, I firmly believe that living a
quality
life
 is pivotal than sacrificing
life
 in making
money
.
Submitted by yogeshkc87 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • facilitating
  • lifestyle
  • professional development
  • increased stress
  • work-life balance
  • hobbies
  • quality time
  • physical and mental health
  • financial constraints
  • luxury items
  • overall well-being
  • personal growth
  • middle ground
  • sacrificing
What to do next:
Look at other essays: