IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Employers should focus on personal qualities instead of qualifications and experience when choosing someone for a job. To what extent do you agree?

#employers #focus #qualities #qualifications #someone #job
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Nowadays, all people in the world can learn more quickly than before because of easier to find resources for learning and improving their
skills
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.
In addition
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, employers in
companies
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 have a chance to enhance their personal qualities by improving their qualifications and experiences. Personally, I totally agree with
this
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 statement. First and foremost, the main reasons for choosing someone for a job are based on personal qualities because some
companies
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 need more
employees
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 when they are focused on one skill.
Furthermore
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, some learn an abundance of soft
skills
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such
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 as leadership, team management, and public speaking but some other people prefer to enhance their
skills
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 like design graphics and content management.
As a result
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, prospective
employees
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 have more opportunities to join their
companies
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 because
companies
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 have some benefits when they choose one person who has a lot of
skills
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.
Consequently
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, the company can save money until 50% of salaries for new
employees
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 because they only use old members rather than require new
employees
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.
For instance
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, a technology company needs more design grafis to create some prototypes for their
products
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 but they only give some assignments to old
employees
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 like UI/UX design to develop new prototypes and old
employees
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 can get higher salaries.
On the other hand
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, some
companies
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 can faster to build new high-quality
products
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 because they have potential members for developing their projects.
Moreover
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, some
companies
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 can emphasize personal
skills
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 because they make more efficient and more effective which are public speaking and team management.
For example
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, an employee prepares a presentation for their
products
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 and must prepare their self like confidently for speaking and promoting
products
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 because it makes clients interested in their
products
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.
To conclude
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, an employer should be aware of personal qualities
instead
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 of qualifications of new
employees
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 because it can impact their company's performance.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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Example Specificity
Consider using more specific examples to support your arguments effectively.
Structure
Pay attention to clarity and coherence by structuring your essay with clear paragraphs, each focusing on a specific point.
Introduction & Conclusion
Ensure that your introduction and conclusion are concise and directly address the essay topic for greater impact.
Grammar & Spelling
Be mindful of minor grammatical errors and misspellings, and consider revising for accuracy.
Insightful Arguments
You effectively explored the importance of personal qualities over qualifications, providing a comprehensive view.
Topic Understanding
Your essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic by reflecting on how personal qualities benefit companies.
Use of Examples
The integration of examples, although they could be more specific, helps in illustrating your points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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