Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Childhood obesity is becoming a problem throughout the developed world. Because of this, some people think that adverts for fast food, sweets and sugary snacks should not be allowed in schools and colleges. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

#childhood #obesity #world #people #adverts #food #sweets #snacks #schools #colleges

In the current scenario, the world is facing numerous challenges. Among these, childhood obesity is one of the most crucial issues and needs to be tackled. Due to

this

some people governs that fast food, sweet and sugary snacks should be forbidden in educational institutes. I majorly accord

this

statement and in

this

essay I will elucidate on both the sides and present my opinion.

To begin

with, pupils now a day

are

Suggestion

more stressed with academic pressure.

This

has beset their life.

Firstly

, educational institutes are vicinity where scholars are supposed to study for eight hours without any much of a physical movement. Though there are some sports periods which allow students to play any sport but

this

will not help in capturing their stoutness.

Secondly

, if schools show advertising which attracts a lot of young people to buy junk meal, it could lead to problems as they keep consuming it.

This

will reflect badly to their body, eventually leads up being overweight. In

this

case, institutes should propel their children to opt for healthy meals and shut down all the adverts displaying unhealthy food.

Finally parents

Accept comma addition

Finally, parents

should

also

keep a concern on their

children

Suggestion

children's

child's

eating habits and they should reinforce the notion of prohibition of snacks and junk cuisine to

school

Suggestion

schools

and colleges.

However

, consuming these meals are totally

confide

Suggestion

confident

confidential

upon the metabolism rate of every individual. Even if pupils are consuming

it they

Accept comma addition

it, they

should effectuate or indulge themselves into some physical activity or some sort of sports.

Otherwise their

Accept comma addition

Otherwise, their

life will become

monotones

tediously repetitious or lacking in variety

monotonous

Moreover

, consuming some sugary food is

also

indispensable nutrition for each person as each body needs a balanced diet. To encapsulate, propelling young people to choose for

healthy meal

Suggestion

a healthy meal

is a good notion for the betterment of their lives.

Submitted by sharma.anirudhsharma1997 on Tue May 26 2020

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Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

295 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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People are responsible for their happiness. Others feel happiness depends on other factors in their life. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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