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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below gives information about the number of social networking sites people used in Canada in 2014 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below gives information about the number of social networking sites people used in Canada in 2014 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #sites #people #canada #summarise #features #comparisons
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The graph shows how much social
network
Fix the agreement mistake
networks
show examples
 is used by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Canadian
people
 in 2014 and 2015. At the first
glance
Add a comma
,glance
show examples
 we see that about a quarter of
people
 don't use these types of sites in both years, but most of 5o % of them have an account in
one
 or two different social,
in particular
 in 2014,36% of
people
have
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 an account in only
one
 site, but
this
 statistic in the
next
 year decrease in favour of multi-account percentage. In fact, it can be clearly seen that in 2014
people
 with 3 or more accounts is only
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
19
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
,
Correct word choice
and
show examples
five sites
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 a contribution of only the 2%, but in 2015 we see that the
people
subscribed
Correct pronoun usage
who subscribed
show examples
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 3 sites at least become 28%.
Finally
, we can say that in
one
 year the spread of
multi-account
Correct article usage
the multi-account
show examples
 percentage, make us
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
provide an increase
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
utilisation
Correct article usage
the utilisation
show examples
 of more than
one
 social network in the
next
 years.
Submitted by lindstedt on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "next".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, one with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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