IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In some countries young people have little leisure time and are under a lot of pressure to work hard in their studies. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience .

#countries #people #leisure #time #pressure #work #studies
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In
this
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 generation, most of the young people have less spare
time
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, and most of the young people are pressurized to work harder in their education. In my opinion, the main reasons for
this
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 would be the competition in the outside world.
However
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, in the young age, people should get some leisure
time
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 to get socially active.
This
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 kind of hurdles has few solutions one of them would be
time
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 management. Though, the education is important for every young person, the institutions and schools have to maintain some strategic plan and make things easier for students. Institutions could make few things online, where students feel comfortable and easier to work for their studies.
Furthermore
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, the students could benefit by providing them 50% of online classes, online assignments and by reducing the school hours. By doing
this
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, students can manage their leisure
time
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 and study
time
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. Students could gather relevant information from the internet regarding their studies or assignments. Taking me as an example, I am a 90's kid, at the
time
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 of our education there was no
such
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 technology. We are forced to go to school, work hard more and used to study 10 - 12 hours every day.
In addition
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 to
this
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, we used to go for tuition of some particular subjects.
This
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 is because, we were totally dependent on hand written books which were provided by the school board. We hardly used to get
time
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 to play, spend
time
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 with friends, but we used gain lot knowledge by doing verbal interaction with friends and elders.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • high expectations
  • academic success
  • future success
  • competitive nature
  • modern education systems
  • top grades
  • prestigious universities
  • high-paying jobs
  • rise of technology
  • social media platforms
  • physical activities
  • relaxation
  • extracurricular demands
  • multiple responsibilities
  • economic factors
  • lower-income families
  • part-time jobs
  • academic pressures
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