Many people think that every individual is resposible for their happiness, but some people believe there are other external factors that influence us Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #resposible #happiness #factors #influence

Some people believe that happiness is nothing but a state of mind and a person is individually responsible for it.

However

, for many others bliss depends on exterior factors. In my opinion, external elements play a massive role in making a somebody happy. On the one hand, happiness is considered to be the sole responsibility for an individual by many.

This

is because, people have the perception that happiness depends on a person's state of mind and heart and each person must have the ability of controlling one's emotion.

Moreover

, many self help books, yoga and meditation institutes teach how to take control of your mind to maintain good mental health and peace.

In addition

, prosperity for them is about inner satisfaction and through practices it can be achieved.

Conversely

, many individuals argue that external elements are extremely crucial for their prosperity.

This

is to say, everyone has some expectation or dreams in life that they want to fulfil.

Such

as, having a good job, living with family or capable of buying a big house and a nice car. People often feel satisfied after reaching something perfect,

hence

this

further

a male parent (also used as a term of address to your father)

father

brings a feeling of bliss in them.

Furthermore

, researchers have proved that even the weather can have a huge impact on people's thought in order to feel happy.

For instance

, some countries which have green areas and mild and pleasant weather are happier. In conclusion,

although

many people think that enjoyment can be achieved without considering other factors, it cannot be denied that a human cannot be happy if external factors are going dramatically against their expectations.

Submitted by lovelypoppy92 on Wed May 27 2020

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

267 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many people think that every individual is resposible for their happiness, but some people believe there are other external factors that influence us Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Last week, you visited a local supermarket and you got saticfactory service. Write a letter to the supermarket manager to thank. In your letter: - introduce yourself; - say why you are satisfied; - say thank you and write about your future visits.

Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree? Provide relevant examples if necessary.

Many people believe that healthy eating and the importance of healthy food should be taught in schools. Others say that parents should teach their children about healthy food and diet. Discuss both views and give your opinion with relevant examples.

In many schools, sports lessons are part of the timetable, because it is important for both boys and girls to participate in sports. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In many countries today, the eating habits and lifestyles of children are different from those of the previous generations. Some people say this has had a negative effect on their health. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?