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Band 4.5

Some parents send their children to preschool when they are three or four years old. Other parents wait until their children are old enough for primary school before they send them to school. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of sending children to preschool at a young age.

#parents #children #three #four #years #school #age
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There are
children
 who attend preschool by their parent’s decision when they are three or four years old .
This
 matter
withstand
Change the verb form
withstands
show examples
 advantage and disadvantage criteria. In my opinion,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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most
of
Change preposition
apply
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child
 development
take
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takes
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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place in preschool.
as well as
 ,
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 safe environment .
on
Capitalize word
On
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 the contrary, it creates a
distant
Replace the word
distance
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 between the
parents
 and their
children
. preschool is a constructive place
when
Correct word choice
where
show examples
child
 development can manifest, and attract the skills
in
Change preposition
at
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 an early age. Communication and social skills with
children
 can give the young individual a boost of
confident
Replace the word
confidence
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.
In addition
, physical activities and interaction with sports can help the
child
 grow
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
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, active day.
Safe
Add an article
A safe
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 place , preschool offers
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
parents
 who are busy in their working day a good, secure environment for their
children
.
Furthermore
 ,
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
well trained
Add a hyphen
well-trained
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 teachers who are capable of handling all
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
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 of urgent needs of the
children
 in the facility.
therefore
,
parent’s
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parents
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 can
insure
Correct your spelling
ensure
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 that their
children
 are in safe hands .
Although
 preschool can handle safety and teaching
aspect
Fix the agreement mistake
aspects
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 for the
children
, It has
it’s
Replace the word
its
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 disadvantages .
firstly
,
distant
Replace the word
distance
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 from the
parents
 ,
as well as
 less time
spending
Replace the word
spent
show examples
 in the house which are unfortunate
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
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 to have.
Also
, that problem
create
Change the verb form
creates
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 a gap between the family ;
therefore
 , weakening the connection in the house . The decision
of enrolling
Change preposition
to enroll
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children
 in a preschool
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 an early age is a major step in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern life .
although
 it can carry a good amount of advantages for the
child
 and their
parents
 , it can withstand a lot of disadvantages in their family lives.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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