IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Over consuming sugar is unhealthy. Some people think that governments should take responsibility to control it. Others think that individuals should take responsibility for sugar intake. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#sugar #people #governments #responsibility #control #individuals #intake
It is true that eating
sugar
 in excess amount can lead to different health problems like diabetes and obesity.
Although
,
Accept space
,
some might argue that it is the
responsibility
 of the government to take
responsibility
 of their citizens' well-being, while some others believe that the individuals should take care of their fitness by themselves.I firmly believe that self
responsibility
 is really important for a person to maintain his fitness. Some critics argue that, the state can control the over consumption of
sugar
 among the public by imposing higher taxes on carbohydrate and sugary products.An example is, if the authority escalates the tax on these products, their selling price will be increased and some people may hesitate to buy
sugar
.
Therefore
 the usage of
sugar
 will reduce automatically among the public.
Besides
, the ministry can introduce some awareness programs to educate the public about the adverse effect of excess
sugar
 in intake.
Subsequently
, people may try to reduce their carbohydrate intake, and they can share
such
 information with his family and friends.
On the other hand
, people have different lifestyle and eating habit.So Self awareness is more important for a person to maintain his well-being. To give an idea example, if someone has a family history of diabetes, he should consume
limited amount
Suggestion
a limited amount
 of carbohydrate than the others because at high risk of diabetes.
Moreover
, these days, many carbohydrate-free products are available in the market
,
Accept space
,
and these are healthy options for the public to maintain and control their glucose intake. To conclude, while it can be argued that too much emphasis is placed on the state to maintain public health, my own opinion is that it is the
responsibility
 of the individual to take care their fitness.
Submitted by sarath.n.s.65918 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • over-consuming
  • unhealthy
  • government responsibility
  • control
  • sugar intake
  • taxes on sugary products
  • regulations
  • advertising
  • public health campaigns
  • associated risks
  • personal responsibility
  • self-discipline
  • dietary habits
  • advocating
  • nutrition information
  • empowers
  • informed choices
What to do next:
Look at other essays: