IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

due to the development of the internet, libraries are no longer important? to what do you agree or disagree?

Advances in electronic devices has been constantly
enhancing
Suggestion
enhanced
. Now, it is taking the position of libraries as well.
it
Suggestion
It
 is disagreed that these technologies
can not
can not
cannot
 take the position of public libraries in the near future
bacause
for the reason that; on account of
because
 of the following reasons that will be explained in detail.
Firstly
Linking Words
, technologies
has
Suggestion
have
 a harmful impact on people's, particularly, children's mental development.
For example
Linking Words
, Ryan Higgins has researched that children, who are using smart devices to read books
,
Accept space
,
are less active during the classes and
are only focused
Suggestion
only focus
 on their phones
,
Accept space
,
deceiving as if they have been reading useful books.
Thus
Linking Words
, technologies are harming readers' intelligence and other skills
such
Linking Words
 as critical thinking and positive thinking, and
also
Linking Words
 making them unable to be realistic and perfectionist about their education and private life. In short, avoiding readers using electronic books is the best solution that can be done to prevent them from being slaves of electronic devices and from abandoning libraries.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the readers can enjoy reading only if they read the
book
Use synonyms
 itself with touching its pages.
As a result
Linking Words
, they can understand what they have read and what the writer was going to say, thoroughly.
For instance
Linking Words
, the same researcher, Ryan Higgins, detected that people can finish a
book
Use synonyms
 in a day, because of amusement taken by the
book
Use synonyms
, if they use paper-books. But using electronic ones will absolutely reduce the amount of time spent on reading books, because it becomes monotonous and
similarly
Linking Words
, enables them from finishing it in a short-time.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is worth reading thousands of paper-books rather than reading an electronic
book
Use synonyms
 in a long time. In, conclusion,
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
 strongly disagree that
although
Linking Words
 technological improvements have been made recently, they
can not
can not
cannot
 replace the
abovementioned
Suggestion
above mentioned
 advantages of libraries.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: