IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

All large companies should provide sports and community facilities to the local community. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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It is the responsibility of bigger corporations to provide leisure services and sports accessories to the local communities.
This
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 essay completely agrees with
this
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 statement as not only do larger
association
Fix the agreement mistake
associations
show examples
 have the resources to do so but that will
also
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 help them in increasing their productivity. Larger
companies
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 and corporations make huge amounts of money. The major chunk of that income is because of the hard work of the local people, so it is obvious that it is
also
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 their responsibility to help develop the community from which they have earned the money.
That is
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 why in certain countries if
companies
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 provide these
facilities
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, they get tax benefits.
For example
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 , in the majority of the developed nations corporations generally get huge deductions in taxes because of the
facilities
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 they build in the community.
On the other hand
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, providing sports complexes and public recreational places
also
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 benefits the
companies
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. As the main workforce in any big factory are usually the people of the local area, if they are happy in their personal life and are more comfortable their working capacity increases.
For instance
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, in Japan, a famous toy factory decided to provide its workers with better living accommodations and recreational
facilities
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 not only did the company's profit raised but
also
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 people became more keen on working for that toy company.
To sum up
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, bigger
companies
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 should create sports and other leisure
facilities
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 for the local communities as not only they are capable of doing that but
also
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this
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 will increase their profit margins and productivity and will produce a better working environment.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure a stronger linkage between the ideas in different paragraphs for a more seamless flow.
Task Achievement
Consider improving the variety of sentence structures to enhance clarity and engagement.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay includes a strong introduction and conclusion that clearly presents the author's stance and summarizes the main points.
Task Achievement
Supported main points with relevant examples, such as the case in Japan, that enrich the response and provide a clear illustration of the arguments.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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