it is sometimes thought that people who travel outside of their own country are more tolerant and understanding of others. To what extent do you agree?

#people #travel #country

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There is an opinion that those who go abroad are broad-minded and compassionate. I partly agree with

this

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point of view;

however

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, I think that the main role in a person’s attitude

plays

Verb problem

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their upbringing.

First,

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it is true that travelling and

interaction

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interacting

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with a foreign culture broaden a person’s horizon and they naturally

became

Wrong verb form

become

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more tolerant and understanding.

Thus

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, when we are getting in touch with

another culture

Fix the agreement mistake

other cultures

show examples

and traditions, we are looking at ordinary things from a different angle.

As a result

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, our perception of certain things can be changed. Especially, when an individual comes to the conclusion that other people may grow up in a distinct environment and may have a unique outlook on life.

For example

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, I have been to India and

this

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travel influenced me significantly. In fact, I even changed my attitude toward an arranged marriage.

However

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, it

possible

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is possible

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to make

Correct article usage

the

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opposite case because there are people who are judgmental from the

begging

Correct your spelling

beginning

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and it seems nothing is possible to change their outlook on life.

That is

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the reason why I believe that parenting is more important. In my opinion, our parents and teachers should teach children that a variety of cultures

as well as

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our differences are good and have the right to exist.

In addition

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, some things have a variety of solutions and there is no only one way to live our lives. In conclusion, I somehow agree with the idea that travelling to foreign countries makes people more liberal and patient. On balance,

however

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, I reckon that personal upbringing is even more important because if a child was born in a racist environment, they would have biased beliefs despite communication with other nationalities.

Submitted by maina.vlasova on Thu May 28 2020

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coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are present but could be further developed to provide a stronger framework for your essay. Make sure to clearly state your position on the given topic in the introduction and summarize your main points in the conclusion.

task achievement

You have provided a well-rounded response to the topic, covering both sides of the argument. Make sure to strengthen your position by providing more specific examples and developing your arguments further. Consider expanding on the importance of upbringing and how it can shape a person's attitude towards tolerance and understanding.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

283 words

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it is sometimes thought that people who travel outside of their own country are more tolerant and understanding of others. To what extent do you agree?

Write a letter to your neighbour about the damage that occurred to your car while he was parking his car in the lane outside your home. In the letter, you should: describe the damage say how you feel about this problem suggest to him what actions he should take.

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Government investment in the art, such as music and theaters is a waste of money. Government must invest this money in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Some people say it is important to keep your home and your workplace tidy, with everything organised and in the correct place. What is your opinion about this?