IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people say that television is a very useful tool when it comes to education. Others argue that television is a much overused, ineffective teacher.

#people #television #tool #education #teacher
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In the new millennium, technology is set to become an essential feature of the society. People are frequently confronted with the arguments concerning the efficacy of widespread
television
Use synonyms
 use in the domain of education. In my viewpoint, if managed adequately within the confines of
classroom
Suggestion
the classroom
a classroom
,
television
Use synonyms
 can well serve as a complement to
educational process
Suggestion
the educational process
educational processes
an educational process
. There is no point in denying that
television
Use synonyms
 is primarily the product of entertainment and was invented for recreational purposes. Broadcast nowadays is too commercial with the myriad of entertaining channels let alone adverts that may interfere with the studying process of young people. Added to
this
Linking Words
, there are a number of academic lessons in schools that are inextricable to assimilate and those classes need to be imparted by teachers not technology. What is more, Educating young generation via
television
Use synonyms
 broadcasting appears to be not only pointless in terms of delivering lessons but
also
Linking Words
 hazardous for youngsters’ wellness. Constantly being in front of TV screens, young people are at risk of suffering from poor eyesight and problems with posture. Despite the negative effects,
television
Use synonyms
 if used appropriately under the control of educators is a productive tool in young peoples’ education.
Television
Use synonyms
 as a valuable asset may be exploited by teachers to conduct their lessons in an interactive way. Educational videos and games,
for instance
Linking Words
, are believed to have positive effects on students’ intellectual
wellbeing
Suggestion
well being
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, academic pressure upon
young
Suggestion
younger
 generation these days is higher than it has ever been thereby
television
Use synonyms
 in the classroom may provide an escape for students during break times. Overall, only if managed properly adoption of
television
Use synonyms
 in the sphere of education is a great advantage for both students and teaching personnel.
Submitted by Dilobar on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: