IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think museums should be enjoyable places to attract and entertain people while others think the purpose of museums is to educate. Discuss both views.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, while some people argue that the main role of museums is entertaining, others claim that these places are constructed for educational purposes. In
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 essay I will attempt to cover both beliefs. There are many people who believe that museums are suitable places for entertainment. Nobody can argue with the fact that some families bring their children to the museums just for amusement. Despite the fact that
large number
Suggestion
a large number
large numbers
 of visitors are elders who have background knowledge about history and art, it seems that a small portion of visitors are teenagers who prefer to pass their free times in museums.
In addition
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, some think that various complexes
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 as universities, institutions and colleges are appropriate for educational aims. There is no doubt that all people need to have fun.
As a result
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, museums are good options,
therefore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, they should be stunning and well-designed to absorb the
attentions
Suggestion
attention
 of all visitors.
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, some people believe that the major goal of museums is teaching. It is no surprise that by visiting historical museums ordinary people as well as scientists and scholars can learn more about different matters
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 as art, physics and astrology.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it is clear that in many countries attendants are not common people.
First
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 introduced in the eighteenth century, many museums in western countries like
Louvre
Suggestion
the Louvre
 and British Museum were hosting well-known historians,
archeologists
an anthropologist who studies prehistoric people and their culture
archaeologists
 and
travelers
a person who changes location
travellers
 who interested in ancient subjects.
Consequently
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the atmosphere of museums
have been designed
Suggestion
has been designed
 based on pedagogical concepts to inform observers about different aspects of
specific subject
Suggestion
specific subjects
a specific subject
the specific subject
. To sum up, there are different views about the main function of
museum
Suggestion
museums
the museum
.
Although
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 some people believe that museums are
best place
Suggestion
the best place
 for entertainment, others argue that they are useful for instructing. It is better to take into account both aspects in the process of designing museums.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: