In many countries women no longer feel need to get married some people believe that this own income and therefore don’t require the financial security marriage can bring

#countries #women #people #income #don’t #security #marriage

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In many

countries women

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countries, women

no longer tend to get married some people believe

that is

Linking Words

because women becoming more self sufficient

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am partly agree

Suggestion

partly agree

have partly agreed

with

this

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statement but

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statement, but

there are some reasons for reluctance The

first

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and foremost

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most of women don't get married are well educated

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They have qualifications up to degree

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They have higher employment levels

also

Linking Words

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And they earn money

Suggestion

for

themselves in order to

fulfill

put in effect

fulfil

their all needs

Suggestion

all their needs

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taking responsibility for financial aids on their own shoulders

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Linking Words

Moreover women

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Moreover, women

who

don't married

Suggestion

don't marry

because of losing their freedom

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Before

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marriage there

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marriage, there

Suggestion

are

have been

no restrictions to women to do whatever they like and don't have any duties. But after

marriage

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most of

ladies

Suggestion

the ladies

have to follow the norms of another family

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Sometimes it may be quite challenging problems with pressure of duties

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On the opposite side,

marriage

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is a wonderful relationship which

create

Suggestion

creates

between two souls.Both husband and wife have to share their emotions and have to support each other with financially and socially

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Every person in

world

Suggestion

the world

cannot live without deal with their relationships

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Linking Words

Therefore bonds

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Therefore, bonds

play vital role in human lives

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In conclusion

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nowadays women

has been reaching

Suggestion

have been reaching

were reaching

have reached

a peak of glory in their life

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Also

Linking Words

get hundreds of opportunities for their financial needs

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So ladies avoid getting married

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But I believe

marriage

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should be like a precious diamond.

Submitted by Hiruni on Fri May 29 2020

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
32
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

1 paragraphs

227 words

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In many countries women no longer feel need to get married some people believe that this own income and therefore don’t require the financial security marriage can bring

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important as other subjects to a child’s development, and they should be compulsory in high school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many cities around the world pollution levels have risen in recent years. Why are some cities becoming more polluted? What effects does this have?

In the current society, many people are struggling with obesity. What are the main causes of this? What are the effects?

Parent allowed their children use ipad. Do yo agree or disagree?

Most people are not interested in how their food has been produced. They only care about how much it costs. To what extent to you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience You should write at least 250 words.