Some people think that children’s free time must include educational activities otherwise they will waste their time. What is your opinion?

#people #children’s #time #activities #waste

Many people opine that the student's free

time

should be used for extra classes so that their valuable

time

does not waste.

However I

Accept comma addition

However, I

do not accord with

this

notion that they completely

induldge

give free rein to

indulge

their self into study only. They should spend free

time

activity

Suggestion

an activity

like sports

Accept space

extra

curriculm

an integrated course of academic studies

curriculum

acivites

put in motion or move to act

activates

and joining different club related to dance and music. The following treatise will explicit the reasons behind the same. The

first

and foremost reason is that, undoubtedly study plan an important role in individual's life.

Nevertheless in

Accept comma addition

Nevertheless, in

today's era where the competitions are cut throat, parents pay more attention towards the education of children than any other activity. To enhance the persona of a

children

Suggestion

child

extra activities are

also

required. It

boost

Suggestion

boosts

their physical and mental

helalth

a healthy state of wellbeing free from disease

health

moreover

make them confident. Free

time

activity

teach

Suggestion

teaches

them other

valueable

having great material or monetary value especially for use or exchange

valuable

things, which they do not learn in school. To exemplify

this

, it can be stated that through these leisure

activites

any specific behavior

activities

they learn the value of sharing and how to adjust with different kind of people. Another

compeling

driving or forcing

compelling

arguments

Suggestion

argument

this

is that children do learn what a win-win situation mean. Competition

teach

Suggestion

teaches

them how to do work hard for the things the need and how to fight with the difficult situations,

moreover

they learn to react in failure.

For instance

Accept space

today

Suggestion

today's

life style parents have one or two kids at home and due to nuclear

family they

Accept comma addition

family, they

do not learn the value of things because they get it so easily.

Therfore they

Accept comma addition

Therefore, they

Therefore they

do not learn the value of competition. To recapitulate

Accept space

after contemplating it can be stated that

Accept space

study teach

Accept comma addition

study, teach

them how to be a good

citizen but

Accept comma addition

citizen, but

it does not teach how to share, how to fight and how to take failures.

thus

Suggestion

Thus

the free

time

should be used for extra activities.

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

305 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that children’s free time must include educational activities otherwise they will waste their time. What is your opinion?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Compared to previous generations, an increasing number of people are traveling overseas for holidays. Why is this? Is this a positive or negative trend?

Some people think that in order to deal with the problem of congestion in cities, privately owned vehicles should be banned in city centers, while others consider this to be an unrealistic solution. discuss both sides and give your opinion.

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In many cities there is a lack of space to develop and as a result, in order to modernize, old buildings are demolished and replaces with new buildings. What are the disadvantages of knocking down old building? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Government should not have to provide care or financial support for elderly people because it is the responsibility of each person to prepare for retirement and support him or herself. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion.