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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Financial education should be a mandatory component of the school program. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#education #component #school #program
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Learning
finance
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 is vital for every living human because everyone, one way or the other, spends money. But should financial
education
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 be compulsory in
schools
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 these days?
This
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 essay will discuss the reasons why financial economics should be incorporated into the
school
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 programme.
Firstly
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, learning about finances enhances savings culture. Spending is not the only component of
finance
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, but keeping the surplus funds after spending is
also
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 a discipline, that should be taught in
schools
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. Saving is,
however
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 , as important as spending because it assures a person of the future unexpected occurrences on which he has to spend.
For instance
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, the banking
habit
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habits
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 of the youths in
Sri-Lanka
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Sri Lanka
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 improved a few years after their government included financial studies in their
school
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 curriculum, and they realized that a lot of the students were being prudent already and had embraced the saving tradition.
However
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,
this
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 reflects the effect of financial
education
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 in
schools
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.
In addition
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 to
this
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, including
the
Correct article usage
apply
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financial studies in
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school
Correct article usage
the school
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 programme will enhance the
students'
Correct your spelling
student's
show examples
 academic results. Most subjects in
schools
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 these days are majorly based on the ability to use numbers.
Therefore
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, studying
finance
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 will
further
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 support their calculating skills.
For example
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, a child in the UK
,
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apply
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 mentioned in an interview that his interest in learning
finance
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 got him better grades in other courses
he
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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the
Correct determiner usage
that
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 involved calculations.
This
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further
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 explains why financial
education
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 should be added to
school
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 syllabuses. In summary,
finance
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 as an everyday activity, requires thorough
education
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.
However
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, with the few points stated above, I absolutely agree that financial
education
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 should be a mandatory component of the
school
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 programme. As it cannot be avoided as long as a person lives.
Submitted by The Tinuola on

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task response
Task Response: The essay presents a clear and comprehensive response to the given prompt, effectively arguing for the inclusion of financial education in school programs. It demonstrates a strong understanding of the topic and effectively addresses the task.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: The logical structure of the essay is well-maintained throughout, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. The introduction effectively sets up the argument, and the main points are supported with relevant examples. There is a good use of cohesive devices and clear linkages between ideas. However, there are a few instances of incomplete sentences that could be improved for better cohesion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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