It is responsibility of individuals to save and provide for their own retirement. Governments have no obligation to provide this benefit. To what extend to you agree or disagree with these statements?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

The idea that it is the responsibility of

individuals

Use synonyms

to save for their own

retirement

Use synonyms

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and that

governments

Use synonyms

are not obligated to help, is a topic that has two sides.

While

Linking Words

I believe that

individuals

Use synonyms

should save for their future, I

also

Linking Words

think that

governments

Use synonyms

have an important role to play in providing support. On one hand, it is important for people to take responsibility for their own

retirement

Use synonyms

. If

individuals

Use synonyms

save money throughout their working lives, they can ensure that they have enough to live comfortably when they stop working.

This

Linking Words

encourages personal financial planning and independence, which can be beneficial for everyone in society.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, not everyone has the same ability to save. Some people, especially those with lower incomes or in unstable jobs, may struggle to save enough for their

retirement

Use synonyms

. In these cases, it is important for

governments

Use synonyms

to step in and provide support. Government programs like pensions or social security can help ensure that everyone has a basic level of financial security when they retire, regardless of how much they were able to save. In conclusion,

while

Linking Words

individuals

Use synonyms

should take responsibility for saving for their

retirement

Use synonyms

governments

Use synonyms

also

Linking Words

have an important role in providing support to those who are unable to save enough. A balance between personal savings and government assistance is needed to ensure that all people can retire with dignity and security.

Garima SangwanFri Mar 14 2025

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement

Expand on your main points with more specific examples or evidence to enhance clarity and support your arguments.

Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure that your ideas build on each other in a seamless manner to improve the flow and connection between your paragraphs.

Task Achievement

You have presented a balanced view by acknowledging both sides of the argument, which is a commendable approach.

Coherence and Cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

232 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

self-reliance
financial planning
social safety nets
poverty and inequality
employer-based pension schemes
personal savings
government benefits
economic factors
inflation
financial markets
government intervention
ethical implications
disparities
quality of life
collective approach
retirement planning
retirement security

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How people can research this?
In this day and age, in many countries, numerous people are eager to carry out some research about the place where they live there like buildings, households, and so on. It appears due to some causes like how much they are a pessimist or how much they are curious about their place. Also, they can find this information via the internet, some folk and neighbours, and the elderly.
8
band
Nowadays, more and more people engage in dangerous activities, such as sky diving and motorcycling. Are you in favor of them? Use examples to support your opinion.
There is a trend that many more people tend to join some dangerous outdoor tasks. In my opinion, it is a doable way for the public to enhance their confidence and social connections.
7
band
The values we gain from our parents and family have more influence over our future success than any skills or knowledge learned in school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There has been a long debate about whether the fortunes gained from parents outweigh the knowledge earned from school. From my point of view, the fortune learned from family members is of greater significance than pure knowledge.
6
band
In today’s competitive world, many families find it necessary for both parents to go out of work. While some say the children in these families benefit from the additional income, others feel they lack support because of their parent’s absence.
In today’s dynamic world, numerous families find it significant for both parents to go out of work. In this essay, I will discuss and give opinions of the said views.
7
band
Some people believe that the good leaders are born, whereas others hold the opinion that leadership qualities can be obtained during the life.
The importance of leadership qualities which was always debatable has now become more controversial with many people claiming that great leaders are born to be a leader while others believe that good leader attributes can be learned in life. In my opinion, the latter proposition appears to be more rational because I believe that experience is the best teacher. This essay will further elaborate both views and thus will lead to a logical conclusion.

It is responsibility of individuals to save and provide for their own retirement. Governments have no obligation to provide this benefit. To what extend to you agree or disagree with these statements?

Fully explain your ideas

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How people can research this?

Nowadays, more and more people engage in dangerous activities, such as sky diving and motorcycling. Are you in favor of them? Use examples to support your opinion.

The values we gain from our parents and family have more influence over our future success than any skills or knowledge learned in school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In today’s competitive world, many families find it necessary for both parents to go out of work. While some say the children in these families benefit from the additional income, others feel they lack support because of their parent’s absence.

Some people believe that the good leaders are born, whereas others hold the opinion that leadership qualities can be obtained during the life.